Judge — April 5, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Result Mecks—My wife prefers tea for breakfast, while I prefer coffee. ecks—Then I suppose it is necessary to have both, ch? “Oh, no, we compromise.”” “In what way “We have tea."—Saturday Journal (Lon- Some Knock—Patience man at the meeting today said I had a perfect figure.” -atrice—Indeed! were there? “ Just fifteen.” “Well, I read in the paper only last week that only one person in fifteen has perfect eyesight.”—Yonkers Statesman. How many women The Natural Inference—“ Who is at the phone?” “Your wife, sir.” “What does she want?” “The only word I can understand is ‘idiot,’ sir.”” “Let me come there wants to talk with Courier-Journal. probably me Louisville Becoming Modesty—Client—I want to sue for a divorce and an allowance of $1500 a year. Lawyer—What is your husband's in- come? Client—It's about that. I wouldn't ask for more than a man makes. I'm not that kind.—Boston Transcript. In Her Glory—Myles—So your wife has had a trip in an airplane? Styles—Yes, she was up today. “How'd she like it “Tickled to death. You see, when she looked down on the crowd she could see nothing but hats?”—Yonkers Statesman. Her Thought—You can’t always tell. She was gazing far off into space, with the light of a soul exalted shining in her limpid eyes. Finally he broke the sacred silence with a question. “Tell me,” he said, “what you are thinking about?” The light in her eyes grew brighter and more tender as she replied: “Noodle soup. I haven't had any for ages.""—Akron Times. Too True—“Ethel’s new photo must be a jolly good likeness.”” “Why “She's had it two days and hasn't shown it to any one.""—London Saturday Journal. She Was Interested—‘ Wife, this ought to interest you. They are about to nominate a mayor in Chicago.” “Well?” “And a lady candidate has cast her hat into the ring.” “How was it trimmed?” Journal. Kansas City The Same 2 Answered—All who have visited Ep- som have seen the big gates on which are perched two stone dogs. An American officer saw them recently for the first’ time. He approached a native with a joke on his lips, expecting to see it fall flat, as he believed would be the case. “When do they feed these dogs?” he asked. “Every time they bark,” said the Ep- somite, and now this particular American is more of an admirer of Englishmen than ever.—Tit Bits. Recognized—An American soldier boasts that during the war he corre. sponded with 535 women. All the hotel proprietors know this fellow as the cootie who keeps the guests waiting while he is glued to the writing desk.— Detroit News. Political Prudence—‘ Captain Tuffle has asked the office force to drop his mili- tary title when addressing him.” “Why is that?” “Tt saves embarrassment all around. The boss of this establishment was a buck private in Captain Tuffle’s com- pany.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. Everywhere “ Jaha, statsbudet, nu ar det bara pianot som skall med.” “Now, we are almost ready, vanman. There is only a piano to go on.""—Sondags Nisse (Stockholm). comicbooks.com