Judge — March 29, 1919 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Acting—“Over in New York they an odd play; it had only two actors ’s nothing. I have seen plays without any actors at all in them.’ Washington Post. Out of His Line—Mrs. Gushing (at a private view)—I suppose you are greatly interested in the cubists and futurists, Mr. Maulstick? Mr, Maulstickh—M a painter—not an al press. dear madam, I’m st.—Buffalo Ex- Facts Wasted—“ That wealthy ama- teur who got a job as an actor has an auto- mobile, a motor-boat, an airplane and a special train, And what part do you sup- pose they gave him?” “What?” “That of a walking gentleman,” Brooklyn Citizen. Seeking a Mascot—‘What’s in a name?” othing,”” answered Mr. Footlight. “Tf there was anything I’d put on a show and call it ‘The Street Car.’ Maybe it would play to standing room only.”— Washington Star. Too Smart—Mrs. Arthur Dodge, the anti-suffrs said in an eloquent New York address: . “Women neglect the duties that be- long to them—the home and what not— and they demand to undertake duti outside their province, such as voting and clectioneering: “These women remind me of the dog that got into the larder. “*Did the dog eat much when he got among the fcod?’ the mistress asked. “*He ate every blessed thing, ma’am,’ said the cook, ‘except the dog biscuit.’ ” —Detroit Free Press. Cautious—"“That poodle of seems rather cautious.” yours I've seen him approach dog with -his tail wagging.’’"— Stories. Kindly Consideration A Hunter—“Is that your dog you've got tied up in the yard, Sam?” “Yes, sah. He’s mine al’ right.” “But he’s got only one eye, part of a tail, and runs on three legs, Sam.” Dat’s right, sah.” “What kind of a dog is it, Sam?” “A huntin’ dog, sah.” “A hunting dog? Why, what does he hunt? Rabbits?” “No, sah. He bits.” “Does he hunt birds, Sam?” “No, sah. He don’ hunt no birds.” “What does he hunt, then, Sam?” “T reckon he’s huntin’ trouble mos’ o' th’ time, boss." — Yonkers Statesman. don’ hunt no rab- In Moderation—During an address to a body of law students ex-Presi dent Taft pointed out that too much* care cannot be taken in the selection of the jury. In this connection he told of an intelligent looking farmer who had been examined by both defense prosecution and was about to be accepted when the prosecutor chanced to ask: “Do you believe in capital punish- ment?” The farmer hemmed and hawed and after a moment's reflection replied: “Yes, sir, I do, if it ain’t too severe.” — Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. The Careful Justice—Senator Lodge while visiting in a rural district dropped in on a boyhood friend, now a justice of the peace. While chatting over old times a couple came in to get married. The justice married the pair and after accept- ing a moderate fee, handed the bride an umbrella, Lodge observed the procced- ing in solemn silence, but after the couple had gone he asked: “Do you always do that, Arthur?” “Marry them? Oh, yes, if they have the license. “No, I mean give the bride a present?” “A present? Why, wasn’t that her umbrella?” “No,” said Lodge peevishly, “it was mine.""—Boston Globe. Discrimination les mémes lower mes fendires quelques billets de mille! It isn’t fair—the parades always go on the same TARR fait défiler les sow i, faimerais ts. I would like to get a chance to rent my windows for a few hundred dollars.” —Le Rire (Paris). comicbooks.com