Judge — March 22, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MONEY Like Master, Like Man—Master— Did you tell the collector who called that I was not at home? Butler—Hi told the maid to hinform ‘im neither of us were at ‘ome, sir. Hi howes a little bill myself, sir.—Boston Transcript. Practical Experiment—‘“I under- stand the boys quit playing poker at Crimson Gulch.” “Only for a whi Finger Sam list came around and_persuac erybody to divide all the money in camp, even up all around. So we didn’t dast to play poker ‘cause we knew that in half an hour or mebbe ; jest as uneven as —Washington Star. answered Three They Share Equally—“ My husband and I share equally the financial arrange- ments of the family.” “That's fine “Isn't it?) [hand him the bills and he foots them.”—Baltimore American BAD BREAKS A Familiar Olio—“ The Ministry of Food has issued an order that no cream may be used . for purposes other than the PAKING 5 of butter or similar —Yorkshire (Eng.) purposes. News, The Hidden Giver —“She had welcomed him graciously . . . and felt. that he was well worth the ANONYMOUS CHEQUE that was sent to him on the next day.”"—Glasgow (Scot.) Daily Mail. A Real Sky-Scraper—“ He ascended ... to the record height for an ARRO- promE of six miles."—Glasgow (Scot.) ning Ti A Plunge in the Dark—‘“ Nu Boor Potisu (Directions printed inside lid) :— “A tablespoonful added to an ordi- nary sized bath . . . will immediately soften it and give a DELICATE PER- FUME TO THE SKIN.”—John Bull (Lon- don). Sizing Them Up Mr. Jones—They say our insides are cram full of those things, my dear! Mrs. Jones—Law! Wouldn't it be awful if they got out?—Passing Show (London) Facial Ideafulness—“ Doris’s pretty Lips parted in a foolish STARE. a new idea to her."—Man Chronicle. Why the Ad. Didn't Pull—* Wanted, a PEMALE DONKEY. / or by letter.” —Yorkshire (Eng.) Post : Adv. Tempting Fate—“ You are not going to send the Comte de Trevieres to his death A SECOND TIME! ”"—Reynold’s News- paper. Army Influence—"1 suppose your boy Josh has changed some.” “Some,” answered the farmer. “Josh used to enjoy sleepin’ as late as anybody. Now ke grabs a bugle an’ wakes every- body up jes’ as early in the morning as he happens to feel hungry.”—Washingion Star. Yankee Jam—“ Mother?” “Yes, Arabella—" “T think we ought to call this stuff ankee jam.”” “Why?” “Because every time I try to stir it up it tries to go over the top.” —Youngstown Telegram. < Anticipating Reminiscences—Nabis —Believe me, a lot of folks didn't have the war brought home to ‘em till their boys had to go. Nibbs—YVes, but a lot more will have it brought heme to them when their get back.—ZIndiana polis Star. Magnanimous—“That boy Josh of mine has a mighty forgiving nature,” remarked Farmer Corntossel. “How does he show it? “Comes back home a_ sure-enough hero and treats me jes’ as kind an’ con- sidera if I had never once put on airs an’ ordered him to the woodshed fur discipline.” —Washington Star. The Newlyriches at the Play “Are we supposed to laugh or look serious?” “Dunno. But it’s sweller to look bored.” —Nebelspalicr (Zurich). comicbooks.com