Judge — March 15, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ik—On commence d respirer! This is the lifel—La POLITICS Figuring the Finances—“ Why don’t you go into politics?” “Can't afford it,” replied the cautious citizen. “It has become almost a custom for a statesman to leave office a poorer man than when he entered it. And I'm in debt now.” —Washington Star. Ultimate Destination—“Are you having any speeches printed in the Record?” “No,” answered Senator Sorghum; “I've decided that it’s a saving all ‘round for me to throw them into the waste- basket myself." —Washington Star. Disqualified—A man’s reason for giv- ing or refusing his vote are often subtle, as candidates are likely to discover. Take the authentic case, at a former election of a county squire who solicited rious poacher whom The man poaching urged the let bygones be the support of ar he had once sent to prisor refused. “But that little affair was years ag magistrate candidate; bygones.” “It isn’t because you sent me to jail,” replied the man, “but the reason for which you did it. You said it was a rab- bit I shot, and it was a hare. The man who don’t know the difference between a rabbit and a hare ain’t fit to sit in Par- liament.”—London Chronicle. Putile Idealism—Two political can didates were discussing a coming local election. “What did the audience say when you told them you had never paid a dollar for a vote?” queried one. “A few cheered, but the majority seemed to lose interest,” returned the other.—Truth Seeker. Heroes Past and Present deuse sous pretexte que les cheveux longs n'ont rien de militaire.” “And yet the colonel makes us get our shaved and says long hair isn't —Le Rire (Paris). Literal Obedience—“ Bobbie, did you thank Mr. Carr for taking you out for a ride “Yes, mother, I thanked him, but 1 didn’t tell you because he said: ‘Don’t mention it." —Boston Transcript. No Offense—Bobbie had been study- ing his grandfather's face, which was very wrinkled. “Well, Bob,” said the old gentleman, “do you like my face?” “Yes, grandpa,” said Bobbie.“ It’ awfully nice face, but why don’t you have it ironed?”—Houston Post. A Blank—As Usual—Tcacher—Now, children, I want you to make a drawing of what you would like to be when you are grown up. Little Girl—Please, I want to be-mar- ried, but Idon’t know how to draw it. Sydney Bulletin Very Ladylike—Little Katherine, summoned by her mother to meet some visitors, came downstairs so noisily and burst into the room in such a tomboy fashion, that her mother felt she must administer a rebuke. So before she could greet the callers she was banished and told not to come down until she could do so in a ladylike manner. She made her exit somewhat tearfully and could be heard slowly climbing the stairs to the nursery. A few minutes later she entered quietly with a polite curtsey. “You could you No, dear; and it just shows how nice and ladylike you can be when you try. “Yes, smiled Katherine. “I slid down the banisters and it never made a sound.”"—Philadel phia North American. couldn't hear me that time, Mewers Immured—A youngster of Bath, Me., had two kittens which he had christened Anna Eliza and Myrtle. The latter died, and the boy buried her in the flowerbed, setting up over her grave this epitaph: Here Myrtle lies To fertili Shortly afterwards a dog killed his other kitten, and when he buried her beside her sister he added to the head- board :— Anna Eliza More fertilizer. —Boston Transcript. comicbooks.com