Judge — March 15, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

COURTING Piling It On—Reggie had laid his very small portion of the world at Marianne’s very small feet, and Marianne had gently but firmly said * “Then you won't Reggie, feeling v “No, 1,000 time with decision. “You needn't say *No’ 1,000 times!” said the rejected suitor resentfully. “I've only asked you once! ""—Rehoboth Sunday Herald. marry me?” said about it. * said Marianne. The Wretch!—“She broke off her engagement, id » but I don’t blame her in the least.” “What was the trouble? “After she had said ‘Yes’ the merce- nary wretch she promised to marry told her how much it had cost him to win her.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. Interested Her—“ Well,” sadly sighs the young man, “there is nothing left for me but to try to forget. I shall enlist in the army and go to Mexico.” “ How splendid!” she exclaims.“ And do this for me, Harold,” she purrs, while his eyes begin to regain their gleam of interest; “when you get to Mexico, find out how they do that Mexican drawn- work and send me the directions.” —St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Saving the Good Ones—Patience— And you refused his offer of marriage? Patrice—I certainly did. I wouldn't marry a tightwad. Patience—Why, is he a tightwad? Patrice—Is he? Say, listen: When he came to propose to me he thought he'd have to get down on his knees, and, would you believe it, he came in the oldest pair of trousers he had!— Washington Star, Joys of Movie Acting—" Now in this scene you hug those bathing girls on the beach. Naturally, their escort punches you.”” But those are genuine bathing girls. They are not employed by any movie concern.” “ Precisely. cort punches you, some very realistic effects.” Journal, And so, when their es- we ought to get Kansas City The Ruling Passion Lady (who has been shopping all day) When is the next train for Richmond, please? Ticket Sefler-—Vhe 2.10, ma'am. Lady—Make it 2.03, and I'll take it!— Passing Showe (London). Retort Courteous—//e—I was going to offer a penny for your thoughts, but perhaps they’re not worth it. She—They’re not. I was thinking of you.—Baltimore American. Delicate Hint—“ Shall I sing Tosti’s ‘Good-by’?” inquired the young man who tries so hard to be entertaining. “I don’t care whose you use,” replied Miss Cayenne. “And don’t bother to sing it. Just say it.”—Wash- ington Star. ON THE FARM Developing a Theorist—“ Jud Tun- kins says he’s ientific farmer.” Yep. Jud has got so scientific he'd rather put in all his time attendin’ lec- tures than run a cultivator.”—Washing- ton Star. One Farmer's Idea—First Agricul- turist—Hello, Cy, whatcha going to raise this year? Second Farmer—Vrices, if the govern- ment will let me.—Z/ndiana polis Star. An Economic Perplexity—“ Perhaps your hired man quit because you didn’t pay him enough.” rejoined Farmer Corntossel, “that can’t be it. The reason he won't work just now is that he wants time to spend the money he made last week.” Washington Star. Playing Safe—‘Do you think farm- ing pays?” “No doubt about it,” replied Farmer Feedtosser. “But the sure way to make farmin’ remunerative is to be the hired man and let the other feller hustle to pro- vide your board and wages.” —Detroit Free Press. The Necessary Horse—‘Do you think the motor will entirely supersede the horse?” “T hope not,” replied the Bucolic One. “There must be some market for hay. I depend on what I make on hay to buy gasoline.’'—IWashington Star. The Literary Farmer—“ Can a liter- y man do anything on a farm?” Sure. If he makes a success of it, he can write wise articles telling people how to do it. If not, he can write funny stuff about his failures.”—Kansas City Star. comicbooks.com