Judge — March 8, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

: Toot! Toot! Fortune-Teller (to motorist)—I warn you a dark man is about to cross your path! Motorirt—Better warn the dark man Woman’s Way—"At last Mrs. Grip: ple has found an apartment to suit her.” “Fine! in?’ “Never. It’s leased on a long term of years and there isn’t the slightest chance for her to get it. I suspect that’s why it suits her.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. When is she going to move Heard on the El—“Madam, the feather in your hat is getting in my eye,” said the man on the crowded car. “Why don’t you wear glasses?” snapped the woman.—Boston Transcript. Her Confession — A Washington housewife recently put a budget system into effect in her house. The scheme worked beautifully. The book began to fill up with figures, which looked very | businesslike. But, some way or other, j when the balance was struck at the end of the month, the outlay was bigger than ever I “T just don’t understand it,” said the } wife. “I took such an interest in the i book, and put everything down and en- 5 deavored to keep things to a minimum. What do you suppose is the matter? “I don’t know,” replied her husband, sympathetically. “Can't you think of any reason? “Well, I think the reason is,” she re: plied, with a cheerful grin, “I like to buy things so I can put them in the book.” — Washington Star. eg SPR BAD BREAKS Snuffed Out Humor—* The husband was divorced in 1015 by Act of Parlia- ment under which all interest of the wife in the husband’s FUN was extinguished.” Yorkshire (Eng.) Evening Post Hear! Hear!—“Saturday is the day allotted to the public to view the planets through the world’s largest TELEPHONE in operation.”—Daily Colonist (South Africa). Making Faces at Nature—“ He had no knowledge that Ugly’s Ears had sEEN and MARKED the look in his face.”— Liverpool (Eng.) Weekly Post The Early Suffragette—Women were earliest at the poll... and at Wingate have the honor of voting BE- FORE the polling booths opeNED.”—Sun- day Chronicle (London) Busted or Buried?—“A decently dressed wrpow had just had her pocket picked . . . she had been deprived of her return ticket to Winchester, where a HUSBAND with a broken leg anxiously awaited her."—A Novel, ‘ the Ty- rant.” A Frustrate Flivver—* Dr. Solf’s ap- peals to America: ‘We cherish the confi- dent hope that the humanitarian feeling of the American people will rrustRATE the possibility of saving thousands of women and children from death and starvation.’ " — Leicester (Eng.) Daily Mercury. A. W. O. A Naval Libel.—Tatler (London). comicbooks.com