Judge — March 1, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MU S I C Improvement—"I dare say the war has made many changes in the life and habits of the American people.” “And some of them for the better. I believe.” “How so?” “Anybody who tried to make a living nowadays by giving ukulele lessons would starve to death.””--Birmingham Age Herald. Obsolete—Probably there were never any songs that died such complete deaths in so short a time as “Deutschland tber Alles” and the “Wacht am Rhein.” Cleveland Plain Dealer Impossible—" Now if you could just hit it right by composing the words for a popular song,” urged his friend. “you might get independently rich.” “T know it,” he groaned, “but, alas, [ am educated.” —Boston Transcript. Adaptability—* You used to be some thing of a singer. Yes,” replied Uncle Bill Bottletop. “An’ prohibition won't stop me. [I'm learning to warble ‘The Old Oaken Bucket’ instead of ‘Landlord, Fill the Flowing Bowl.’ '—Washington Star > Outsider Coming Back—Mrs. G (with newspaper)—I see they're playing Wagner again Mr. Galey—I don’t recall that horse At New Orleans or Havana?— Buffalo Express Germania’s Awakening “Ils ont dit que (addition, ca regardait, madame.” “So, you're to settle for this, lady?” La Batonnette (Paris) A Slow Job—A violinist was engaged by a woman, whose husband had ac- quired recent wealth, to play at a dinner she was giving. The agreement was that he was to furnish music from cight o'clock until el He began with an andante movement from Mozart, a composition which opens very low and soft After listening for a moment in silence the woman turned to her guests and stid “Now isn’t that just like those musi- cians; [hired him to play by the hour, and see how slow he goes!" Detroit Free Press. But They Did More Than Dream An Australian Artist's Vision of the Peace Cc Met His Match with ¢ “What's the matter Arizona Bill,’ the gunman?” rizona’ got a job in the movies.” “Well?” “He has just had a set-to with a movie director and the poor fellow’s spirit is broken.” — Birmingham Age-Herald. The Last Word—“Is that movie star very popular?” “Popular? Why, she draws crowds when she walks down the street even in Los Angeles!" —Film Fun. When the Boys Come Home “Wouldn't you like to have a million dollars?” “That's too pikerish. I'd rather have a movie theater near the docks at which the boats from France tie up.”—Film Fun. After the Ball—* What picture did you see last night?” “T confess I don’t know. They showed so many announcements of coming pic- tures that T got all balled up.”—Film Fun. YAN K S The Confused Hun—Dr. Thomas C. Ely tells a story his son, Lieutenant Wil- liam C. Ely, heard at Fort McPherson, Atlanta, which illustrates the heroism of the negro troops. A German officer, taken captive, com- that nothing could stop the They were not afraid of the y defied the flame projectors, they advanced through fusillades of the machine guns of 280 to 300 bullets a minute. “How about the gas?” to the German. “Gas?” replied the captive Hun. “It was no use to turn on the gas. It merely blackened their faces and frizzled air, and they came on just the — Philadelphia Ledger some one said He Settled It—‘I'll say this for the “Tt didn’t last long after my boy got into it.""—Detroit Free Press. comicbooks.com