Judge — February 22, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TRAVEL Becoming Apprehensive—" My hus band has been missing for a weck.”” “Why didn’t you report this soon. or?” “Well, for the first three or four days I didn’t think much of it as I figured he was likely waiting for a street car.” Wichita Eagle He Meane It “Hubby, TE must go away for a little trip.” Il right.” “But what sort of a trip shall I take?” jo as far as you like.”’—Aansas City nal. Absent-Minded—\ lady showing evi- dence of haste entered a street car near the shopping district, and, seeing a friend, she stood in front of her talking. “Sit down,” said the friend, making room for her. “Really, dear, I haven't time,” replied the flustered woman. I'm in such a hurry to get to the station.” —Boston Transcript. “ Europeans are surprised to find America such a large country.” “Yes; many of them seem to think they can do Niagara Falls and the Yo- Kansas City Surprised semite the same day.” The Old Style and New aire qu’y a yo checaux dans c'te p'tit’ y horses in that Lectures Pour Tow “You needn't try to by telling me there little box — there.” ts). Passing of a Commuter—“A man who had been a commuter for twenty- seven years died out our way the other night.” “All flesh is mortal, you know.” “Twas going on to say that the editor of our local paper wrote a touching obitu- ary. He began by saying, ‘When the 8 o'clock train left Bingleville for the city this morning a familiar face was miss ing.”""—Birming Late-Thinker plus amusant de \ ’. a —— DOCTORS For What Ailed Him—The nervous wreck had explained at great lengths his symptoms, All that were described in the medical books he had, and some besides- allof which were described at great length. “Do you understand me?” he finally asked the doctor, when he had ended his enumeration. “I do,” replied the doctor, “and I'll give you something for your pains.” Detroit Free Press A druggist submits the notes he has Oh! Doctor! following collection of received recently: “This is my little girl I send you s cents to buy two poders for a groan up adult is sike.” “Dear Dochter, pleas gif bearer 5 cens worse of Aunti Toxyn for to gargle a babys throat and obliege.”” “You will please give the little boi + cents worth of epecac for to throw up in a five month’s old babe. N. B.—the baby has a sore stummick.”” “T have a cute pain jn my child’s dia gram. Please give my son something to release it.”” My little baby has eat up its father’s parish plashter. Send an antedote quick as possible by the enclosed girl.” —//linois Health News. A Descriptive Record—The Hindu habu hospital assistant had been taken to task for not keeping proper charts of the patients. Next day he presented the following: Sa.m. The patient’s life in low degree. 10 a. m. yin sink tra.m. Flit tp.m. Flut.— Punch Next Question" What you need,” stated the doctor, “is ozone.” “Thank you, doctor,” said the fashion- able dame. ‘And where shall I go for ansas City Star. Anticipation — Technical Student Say, Ed, where do you keep yourself that a fellow never sees you nowadays? Medical Student—Well, when you must get up at 6, study till 5 in the afternoon and then to rt at night on the home work— rechnical—And how long do you do this? Medico—We begin tomorrow.—Jour- nal of the American Medical Association. comicbooks.com