Judge — February 15, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

YOUNGSTERS Association of Terms—" Who dis covered America?” “Ohio,” replied the little girl. “No. Columbus discovered America “Yes'm. Columbus was his first name.” —Washington Star Didn't Catch Him—There was an addition to the teacher’s class and the new pupil was somewhat ragged “Now,” began the teacher, “let me sec what you know. Tell me why did Hanni bal cross the Alps?” The new boy grinned at his neighbor. “For the same reason that the hen crossed the roads You don’t catch me with no puzzles,” he said.—Pittshurgh Chronicle-Telegra ph. Real Antiques—" And what is your father’s business, my little girl?” ques tioned the long, lean, lanky miss at the girl's school. The new arrival shifted uncasily from one foot to the other. “Must I tell?” “Yes; you must give the information to the school board.” “May I whisper?” “My father makes worm holes.” “Does what?” said the teacher in astonishment. “ Makes worm holes. He works in an antique furniture factory, and he has to make the worm holes in the furniture.” Detroit Free Press Practical Heroism pus acons rendu Alsace et la Lorrai “Yes, and now won't you He Knew Different— ‘Teacher was warming to her subject and, laying down her book, said “Now, you all understand that the trunk is the middle part of the body, don’t you?" “Yes, ma’am,” chorused the class with one exception “You understand it, 100?" asked the teacher of the boy who had not answered * No, ma’am, because it isn’t so.”” “Why, my boy, what do you mean?” “Well,” replied the boy, “you ought to go to the circus and see the elephant.” Baltimore Quite in Order Magistrate—Di¢ Constable—YVes, the head! ore (London nt, tache= de nous rendre le lait d cing sous le | id, we've given you back Alsace and Lorraine!” ive us back milk at five ts a quart?" — Le Rive (Paris) WHEEZES Natural Question—“What kind © coal do you use?” “Where can T get a dozen?" Bosten Transcript. All Fixed —" Where are you going?’ To a husking bee. You get a kiss if you find a red ear.” “TE hope you'll find some red “LE think I shall. I’m taking along a few.” —Kansas City Journal. Surprise Natural—"You ought to have seen the surprised look on the cof face when his prisoner suddenly scooted.” “That was natural. A bolt from the blue is always surprising, you know.” Boston Transcript. Then There Was Silence —Soldirr (rather muddled, at his pal’s wedding) MIT can say is, I wish the bride many returns of this happy occasion. —London Tit-Bits. Good for You—"*What do you de with those ‘dictated but not read’ letters you receive?” “Have my mail opener stamp them ‘received but not read’ and mail them right hack.”—Boston Transcript comicbooks.com