Judge — February 15, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Fighting Togs—“Uncie Sam bully, but he can take care of himself.” “When they chucked rocks hat they soon found him in a trench helmet.”"—Kansas City Journal Shocking an English Valet—How an American serving in the British army gave a London valet the shock of his life was related by a soldier returning { England. A ragged, penniless American, nb car's fighting with the British in France, wandered into Y. M. C. A Eagle Hut, London, and seemed so for- lorn and needy that Mrs. Gowers, head of the Y. M.C. A. Hospitality League, and wife of Lloyd George's secretary, took him into their home for his leave. After a good night's rest the American put the valet “over the jumps,” ordering his uniform pressed and generally bossing the houseman in a manner far from what that factotum thought a humble soldier should assume. Finally the servant went to Mr. Gowers to ask who the Ameri Mr. Gowers did not know and inquired why the valet asked. “Hif I may say so, sir, ‘e’s makin’ ‘imself very much at ‘ome, sir, makin’ us all jump about a bit, and ’e told me to send this cablegram,” said the valet, handing over a message which read as foliows: “Dad, I’m busted, Send another thou- we Was, sand. War is hell. The ragged soldier was a California millionaire’s son.—Chamberlin’s Maga- sine They All Say This—" Henry, you've been away almost a year.” “So I have, Arabella.” “Have you been kissed by any of those French girls?” “By none over five years old.""— Bir- mingham Age-Herald Privileged Character—“Now that your former office boy has returned from France and gone to work for you again, I presume he is treated with distinguished ~consideration.”” “Quite right,” answered Mr. Dub- waite. “When that youngster is telling | a visitor what happened at Chateau- Thierry, I would never forgive my- self if L interrupted him on a mere matter of business.”"—Birmingham .Lge= Herald. is no this plug ndpa I spent A Littl proached their heels and then rising to a standing position in perfect unison “What asked “Why, ises,”” exp tome more | Indianapo “Unya “Why, it) “What did ing an army camp, and as she ap Twenty Years After Running Second—"That’s a tine thing of yours, Dauber, In fact, there's only one thing in the show I like better.” “Whose is that?” “ Mine.”"—Sydney Bulletin Natural Deduction A) Mulvane man, seeing a picture of the Venus de Milo on the back of a magazine, wanted to know if that was some more work of the Huns.—Muudloane (Kan.) Ne Dubious Praise — Critic — 1 your background is beastly: Artist—Indeed, and perhaps you think the cattle in the foreground beastly Critic—Oh, not at all. They are : thing but that.—Boston Transcript. think 100. you do after the great war, my life ing my disc t To Be Safe—The prima donna was reading the rough draft of her new con tract. When she came to the paragraph pro: viding that she should have transport tion for herself, maid, dog and Sig. ¢ beani, her husband, she drew a through the signor’s name. “Just put that husband,” she ordered. “Yes, madam,” assented the manager. © “But why, if I may ask?” The diva blushed and coyly fingered her hair, “I may wish to make a change,” she answered.—Detroit Free Press. je of Both— Aunt Nancy was some rookies were sitting on zi line are the boys doing now?” she those are the setting-up exer plained an obliging sergeant. remarked auntie. “Looks ¢ settin’ down exercises.” His Star. The High Cost of Living in Africa aig. as eS Hanrierce_ plus moyen d'y arriver. Six sous le kilo, ce matin, Cexplorateur!” i c explorer is six cents a pound!” —Le Péle-Mé Paris). mply awful. ‘Today p comicbooks.com