Judge — February 15, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Growth of Frightfulness The ON THE FARM The Competent Farmer The competent farmer has finished his chores And has finished his dinner as well He is through for a time with the world out of doors, And he loafs by the fire for a spell The logs crickle-crackle; the sparks fly in flocks; Aspiring smoke heavenward goes The farmer for ease is displaying his socks And a pair of inquisitive toes The competent farmer has autos and sich But he'd rather have comfort than style In dollars and happiness both he is rich As he looks at his wife with a smile Ay, peaceful the of a hard working day But out in the gathering gloor An owl sings a mournful and sinister lay That breathes of despair and the tomb. The competent farmer is making his plans For the morrow as gravely he smokes The children’s bgight faces he lovingly scans And smiles at their innocent jokes. He knows what he owns, dollars, acres and flocks, And he loves every critter and fowl; And he don’t care a darn for the holes in his socks And he don’t give a hoot for the owl. Philadelphia Evening Ledger. A Reactionary—"Why did hired man quit?” “He was too easily discouraged,’ swered the up-to-date farmer. “He said he'd spent twenty years trying to under stand a mule and he'd be dadblamed if he would tackle a tractor at his time of life.” Birmingham Age-Herald. your Mental Relaxation—“I happen to know an old farmer who reads Shake speare diligently.” Does he apply Shakespeare to farm life?” “Not directly, but he says he gets a lot of comfort out of reading the bard's wise observations after he's been trying to pound some common sense into the head of his hired Birmingham I ge-Herald man Surprises of Photography TOUGH-HIDES What Arguing Leads To“ You know you are in the wrong,” said the contentious man. Nothing of the sort,” replied the un willing debater. “I merely said 1 might be mistaken,” “Ha! Then you concede that you are not infallible?” “Of course I do. cty-blanked fool ible.” “Sir, do you mean to insinuate “Tt don’t mean to insinuate anything. Thank heaven, here's my car! Good night!"— Birmingham .Age-Herald Nobody but a blank would think himself Disappointing Experiment—“ Have you ever tried to love your enemies?” "Ves," answered the slow-speaking man. “IT have tried. But I never got a real enemy to reciprocate my affections with any degree of reliability." —Wash ington Star. men, who are ly in their Their Excuses—Two quite well off, but very m expenditures, met recently in the gallery of a theater. Each was annoyed to be seen by the other in the cheapest place of the house “What brings you here?” each asked the other. “To tell the truth,” said the first, “I've got a fearful cold in my head, and as the heat ascends, I came up here where it was warm. Besides, I’m a terrible sufferer from rheumatism. But what brings you here?” “My opera glasses!” pur opera gi oe “Yes; they enlarge too much. I can’t see from the boxes what is going on on the stage. I have to come up here in the gal lery to be able to see with them at all!””- Connellsville Evening News Won Over—“At last Jabbem, the dramatic critic, is actually ‘enjoying the performance of a play.” “There's a reason.” “What?” “He wrote Herald. . Birmingham Age- Merely Wanted the Materials—" So you married my daughter thinking I'd pave the way for you in business. Is that it?” “Well—er—not exactly. I'll do the paving. but I thought you might furnish the rocks.” —Boston Transcript comicbooks.com