Judge — February 15, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wet Logic WET AND DRY Headed the Same Way— Johnson had been dining out with some friends. When he left to go home he found himself in a very thick fog. Stumbling along a narrow pathway, he found himself descending a tlight of steps. This he felt sure was not right, and hearing footsteps ascending, he paused. “Pardon me,” he said to the dim figure which presently loomed through the fog. “but can you tell me where I am going inly, sir,” replied the stranger, politely. “If you go straight on you will walk into the river! I have just come out!" — Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph The Divine Fire—We are wondering if we shall ev ain gaze on the blue blaze that plays around the plum pud ding—that is, used to play around Wace (Tex.) Times-Herald. Coup de Grace champion.""—Esquella (Rareelona). ccté de Valcool dun cochan d' Inde s apres il mourait dans les ce qui prose... Que alcool n'est pas fait pour ons d'Inde! injected alcohol into a guinea pig seconds later he died in convul That alcohol Le Pi (Paris) MATRIMONY Progressive“ You say her love af fairs have progressed from abstract to concrete?” “Yes; she jilted a title guarantee man to take on a builder.” — Detroit Free Press. never in Relationship — ‘Is she his first wife?” “Well, as he marricd her again after divorcing her, she is what you might call his first wife once removed.""—Boston Transcript Sure Cure—Bedton was always com- plaining of his wife’s memory. “She can never remember anythin, said he. “It’s awful!” wife was just as bad,” “till I found a ca, was it?” asked Bedton y," said Clinker, “whenever there's anything particular I want the missus to remember, I write it on a slip of paper and gum it on the looking glass.” —London Answers Mme THE OLD SOD Pat Answers Phone—Patrick, lately over, was working in the yards of a r: road. One day he happened to be in the yard office when the force was out. The telephone rang vigorously several times and he at last decided it ought to be answered. He walked over to the instru ment, took down the receiver, and put his mouth to the transmitter, just as he had seen others do.”” “Hello!” he called. “Hello!” answered the voice at the other end of the line. “Is this eight-six- ine?”” ‘wan! Phawt d’ ye tink Oi am *—San Francisco Star, Which?—O'Brien—Oi can say thing. Oi'm a self-made man Casey—Is it be re, or apolo- gizin’?—Philadelphia Esening Ledger. wan Her Interpretation “It says here th» bige most beautiful wives.” “Oh, Cecil—you flatterer!™ (London) comicbooks.com