Judge — February 8, 1919 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Peace Negotiations his_is disgraceful. It's h to make me divorce Mr. Soake—Don't trou ar. Jush lesh have an armishice tonight an’ T'll abdi- ney Bulletin YOUNG STER Needless Alarm—Junior had not been in the best of health, and, when he seemed well on the way to recovery, his mother took extra precautions to guard him against possibilities of an influenza attack. One evening the anxious mother was startled, when she entered Junior’s room, to find the little chap in bed, sniffling, with eyes red and water “Goodness gracious!” you feel sick, dearie?” Junior replied. “But you seem to have caught a dread- ful cold.” “T haven't any cold.” “But your nose, and your cyes!”” From under the covers Junior produced a book, “Tt is he said, about poor Telegram. she cried, “do ‘Uncle Tom’s Cabin,’ mama,” d I have just been reading little Eva.”— Youngstown Bobby's Version—Asked “lunch,” Bobby replied; “Lunch is what you have for dinner when your father is away.”—Boston Transcript. to define Unveiled Truth—The visitor had dropped in “just for a minute,” but she remained about three hours*after the minute was up. Little Freddie had formed several plans, the execution of which must be postponed till the departure of his mother’s guest, so he sat quietly thinking things. “Dear little man! “And what’is he deeply?” “T was wondering if it wasn’t time for you to be going,” said Freddie. “Hush!” said his mother. Then, turn- ing to her guest: “You mustn’t be of- fended, Mrs. Smith. Children will go blurting out the truth without thinking, but they don’t mean anything by it.” Then Mrs. Smith recollected that she had only three minutes in which to catch the last car home.—Rehoboth Sunday Herald. gushed the visitor. thinking about so Inseparable Anglais ct les Américains, ils venus @ Paris avee leurs “Papa, les sont donc tow “ Mais, oui, mon gargon . . . mais oui.” “Papa, did all the English and American soldiers bring their wives to Paris with them?” “Yes, my son es."— L' Illustration (Paris). Easily Solved—Teacher—Now, John- ny, suppose you wanted to build a $1000 house and had only $700, what would you do? Johnny—Marry Boston Transcript. a girl with $300.— Caught— ase, teacher, would you a chap for something he hadn’t “Certainly not, Billy. That would be unjust.” ‘That’ my homework.” all right, ‘cause I didn’t do Sydney Bulletin. Complete Action—Papa—Bobby, you had a little more spunk you mould stand better in your classes. Now, do you know what spunk is? Bobby—Yes, sir. It’s the past particle of spank.—Chicago News. 86 Se THE OLD SOD Restraint — Resident at — boarding- house (to waiter)—Do you call this stuff margarine or marjarine? Mike—Sure, sorr, 1 should be dis- charged if I called it anything but butther.—The Australasian. Irish Reasoning—“ Well, Pat,” said the visitor, “we must all die once.” “That’s phwat bothers me,” replied the very sick man. “If Oi could die half a dozen times Oi wouldn’t mind it.”— Boston Transcript. Serious Conflagration—It was the day after the hod carriers’ picnic and Hogan was in a bad way. “Och, murther, Honora,” he groaned, “it’s me insoides that’s burnin’ up in- th’ foire under control wid a bottle of beer?” asked Mrs. Hogan. “Oi dunno,” said Hogan, “but anyway it would help to wet down th’ ruins. The Portfolio. Might Have Saved It—“ Pat, here’s the dollar I borrowed of ye last wake.” “Bedad, Mike, I’d forgot all about it.” “Och, why the divil didn’t ye say so?” —Boston Transcript. ‘The Colonel’s Lady nel—That confounded young ass, Captain Pacer, got a bit lively in the mess last night, and started boasting that he had kissed every of fficer’s wife in the bat- talion—l His Wife—Really! 1 wonder who she can rday Journal (London). comicbooks.com