Judge — February 8, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

They asked me to their t because they liked me; it was only because I can sing.” “Oh, I'm sure you're mistaken, dear!” y Bulletin. The Error— reception, but it was Her Broken Heart—She was an in- rrigible flirt, and she was married Therefore she deemed it quit f pretty things to the handsome captain by her side. “TL suppose,” she remarked broken many a woman’s heart?” “Only one,” replied he. “And that was many, many years ago.” She scented Romance. “Do tell about it!” she persisted. “Well, several years ago I had occasion to journey up north. My only companion in the railway compartment was a very pretty girl. We rode on for many hours and no one else entered the car- to say “you've ’ she interrupted eagerly. “T never said a word to her, or gave the slightest opportunity to say anything to me.""—London Answers. Fresh Paint—‘:Waiter,”” he called, sniffing the air suspiciously, “never mind that order now, I can never eat whe' there’s a smell of fresh paint around.” “Tf you'll just wait a few minutes, sir,” replied the waiter, “them two young ladies will be going.” —Tit- Bits The Wrong Locality ‘Bill, with on all over. Why didn’t y’ tell her you bit the blighter to death?” Bulletin In Her Mind—* What are you doing ata trousers sale, Mrs. Newgirl? Women aren’t wearing trousers.” “Not yet. But still I'm just looking around.” well, anyhow, Stray Stories. Didn't Look It—‘* What would you asked the fair theosophist, “if 1 should tell you that I was born in Egypt three thousand years ago?” “Why,” said the man addressed, “1 should say you don’t look it.”—Boston Transcript. Occupation for an Idle Moment— “Charley, dear,” said young Mrs. Tor- kins, “have you a minute to spar “Yes” “Well, I wish you would tell me ex- actly what is meant by a ‘league of na- tions’ and ‘ freedom of the sea Wash- ington Star. sian Puppets. A Minor Matter—A Cardiff woman joined a private literary circle. Her hus- band, who had no faith in feminine judg. ment on such matters, was anxious to know how things went. “Well, and what sort of a meeting did you have?” he asked, on his wife’s return. “Splendid!” she answered “ And what was the topic under discus- sion?” “Oh,” was the reply, “we discussed the antecedents of that brazen woman with the dyed t just moved in Joneses, Shelley, I fern Mail. opposite th the poets (Wales) We: ” said young we going to_ have Protest Mrs. Torkins, “are freedom of the seas?” “Why are you so interested?” “T haven't forgotten the way we were treated at the beach last summer. I don’t believe anybody has a right to rope off the ocean and then charge you fifty cents for the privilege of taking a bath in it.”—Washington Star, Revenge is Sweet Ex-Cook (recognizing net late mistress)- Full up!—Passing Sko His Accomplishments—Her Mother —My daughter sings, plays the piano, painis, understands botany, zoology, French, Italian—in fact is accomplished in every way. And you, sir? Prospective Son-in-Law—Well, in an emergency I suppose I could cook a little and mend the socks. eG Pe Boston Transcript. BAD BREAKS Long Drawn Out—“ Meanwhile the vic is spoken of as the largest vessel in the world, being 170 MILES from stem to stern.”"—Prople’s Own Paper (Gib raltar). But What Was the Scrap About? “There was a dance and a few songs . to celebrate the cessation of hostilities in the village schoolroom.”—Bridlington (Eng.) Free Press For Winter Comfort—" Bec suite, comprising wardrobe, 24 feet long WITH FIREPLACE in center.” —Yorkshire (Eng.) Post Ad. His Way With Children—The Colo- nel ay with youngsters. All too little to know how to admire him loved him on sight. Tales about him with chil- dren here and there are innumerable. There was the little invalid in Portland Ore., carried to the curb on a stretcher to see him go by, when he was passing through in 1903. He noticed her, stopped the carriage, jumped out and KILLED her. —Philadelphia Evening Bulletin. comicbooks.com