Judge — February 1, 1919 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a nih ae i ing this trial?” "Ves." “Is the defendant as beautiful as they say? “Well, she is beautiful enough to be acquitted. If you mean to ask if she is beautiful enough for vaudeville, | dunno.” Louisville Courier-Journal. Not Her Fault—"Can you keep a secret, Peggy?” “T can; but it’s just my luck to tell things to other girls who can’t.”—Boston Transcript She Didn't Know—Doru—Oh, I'm in such distressed mind, and I want your advice. Iam loved by three men, and I don’t know which to accept. Clara—Which onc has the most money? Dora—If I knew that, do you suppose I'd waste precious time running around for advice?— Minneapolis Journal. F O O D Strange but True—You can’t find any molasses that tastes like maple syrup, but you can find a lot of maple syrup that tastes like molasses.— Buffalo Enquirer. Mathematical Explanation—* Won- der what causes indigestion?” “ Frequently it is caused by the inabil- ity of a round stomach to adjust itself toa square meal.”"—Kansas City Journal. Before the War—Maybe you also remember the good old times when a person could buy a nickel’s worth of cheese and crackers and get some of both. —Dallas News. Scientific Age—“ Guess I'll have to a course in college,” said the butcher. “What now?” “A lady just asked me if my steak was nitrogenous.” — Kansas City Journal io Waste—" I hear you have an eating in your drama.” es, but it’s all right. Paper turkey and rubber oysters. It’s thoroughly Hooverized.”"—Kansus City Journal. / Just a Suggestion juite ready for me to turn over!" —Passing ‘hime to Loosen Up—* Does your boy Josh enjoy being hom: “I hope so,” replied Farmer Corn- tossel, though I have to keep after mother about the table. You see, Josh is used to Army fare and us folks has been Hooverizin’.”"—Washington Stor. Centuries Ago—Do you remember those quaint, old-fashioned days when recipes used to read “fry in butter”’?— Cleveland Plain Dealer. Frenchmen, Be Comforted (a Poster) FRANCAIS RASSUREZ.VOUS OW NE MANQUERA PAS DE CHARBON Danes LES MINISTERED shortage of coal—in de Paris There will be n government offices. — might just ask the gentleman who's helping me to read my paper if he’s xe (London), BAD BREAKS Facing Behind—“ Soldiers away on service are STABBED IN THE BACK IN THEIR ABSENCE.”—London Daily News. Missed Opportunity—“A Wick Shepherd, aged 65 . . . had never Lost A DAY'S ILLN in his life.”—Lincoln- shire (Eng.) Echo. The Will to Kill—“I merely meant that if you did betray me, I should stay you—DEAD or alive.”—The Three Graces (Norel). Achieving the Impossible—“ For some minutes there was silence, broken slow even voice, UTTERING the UN- =n thoughts, almost a prayer: ‘My God, how absolutely wicked and shame- ful to see these great fine ships give them- selves up without a fight.’ ’’—Brighton Eng.) Argus. A Sweeping Assertion—“ Every mu- seum should have a specimen of a MINE-SWEEPER, a murderous weapon, utterly regardless of the Geneva Con- vention.” — Manchester (Eng.) Evening Chronicle. comicbooks.com