Judge — January 25, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Head of the Line wo rR D 5 Nought—“I wish to express the ab- solute zero in values.”” “Ahem! Let me think.” Vell?” Vhy not say, ‘As worthless as an iron —Birmingham Age-Herald. The Right Word—“ What is this man charged with?” “Carryin’ congealed honor.” weapons, yer Alarmed Him — “Mamma,” said Archie coming in from out doors one frosty morning, “there’s something the matter with me. Please send for the doc- tor; I’m bréathing fog.”—Boston Tran- script. Not the Sense—“ Chef means just the same as cook, don’t it, pa?” “Yes, Bobby, but don’t let our cook know or she'll demand $15 more a month!" —Browning’s Magazine. Ready for Planting—Charles—John, you're getting old, aren’t you? John—Aye, that Iam. If I live to the end o’ this month I'll be a hoctergera- nium.—Christian Record. day Journal (London). Epicured—“ Father,” said the small boy, “what's an epicur “An epicure, my son, is an extinct food waster.” —Washington Star. An Alibi—“ About a year ago you pre- dicted that the world would come to an end in twelve months.” “You saw that in the newspapers, no doubt,” replied the celebrated sooth- “Inv typographical error. I said the world-war.”"—Birmingham Age-Herald. Bolshevik F O O D Ile Changed His Mind—“I can’t eat this stuff.”” “Never mind, dear, I have some fine nes for making up left-overs. “In that case I'll eat it now.’ ville Courier-Journal, re —Louis- Too Natural—“ You have a realistic picture to advertise your breakfast food.” “Almost too realistic. A goat came along and ate one right off the bill- board.""—Kansas City Journal. In Retrospection—(Time, Place, historical museum.) First Visitor—And what is that large object that looks like a receptacle of some sort? Second Visitor—The attendant says it was called a garbage can. “For what was it used?” “In the early days people used to have so much waste food they had to throw a lot of it away, and these large cans were sometimes filled to overflowing with it.” “Impossible!” —Voungstown Telegram. 1950; On a Diet—“Now, getting down to brass tacks,” continued the sideshow manager, “why——” “T daren't,” interrupted the Human Ostrich, who had been ill. “The doctor ays I mustn’t touch solid food for at a week yet.”—Buffalo Express. Strategy “Oui cours-tu “TueP notre général avant qu'il ne s¢ suicide. “Where are you trying to go?” “To kill our general before he commits suicide.”"—La Victoire (Paris). i | 4 comicbooks.com