Judge — January 25, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Frun—Var car du i gar keall? Mannen—Det ar 6 D O G Ss Not an Objection—“I wish to pur- chase a pet.” “What sort of a pet?” “Oh, any kind of an intelligent pet. Something for my wife.” “Well, sir, this dog can do anything but talk.” “Vl take him. That defect will never be noticed.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. Sioux City News—Growling Bear (as squaw arrives home)—Where you been gadabout now, Copperface? Mrs. Growling Bear—Why, my dear, I was one of the invited guests at Mrs. Bone-in-the-Head’s dog luncheon. Growling Bear (getting interested) How'd she cook the dog?—Buffalo Ex- press Paging—A bellhop passed through the hall of the hotel, whistling loudly. “Young man,” said the manager, sternly, “you should know that it is against the rules of this hotel for an em- ployee to whistle while on duty.” “Tam not whistling, 'sir,” replied the boy, “I'm paging Mrs. Jones’ dog.” —Argonaut. Victim of a Conspiracy ! Vem har sagt des?! Wife—Where were you last night? Husband—It's a lie! Who told you?—Sonda; Nisse (Stockholm) Wouldn't Sit on It—James, the new butler, who would rather have died than disobey orders, was instructed by his mistress to bring everything into the drawing-room on a salver. A visitor called one day with a large and ferocious-looking Newfoundland dog, which he left outside. When the visitor was about to go, however, his hostess wished to see the dog, so she rang the bell and told the obsequious James to bring him in. Some minutes passed and James did not appear. But suddenly the sounds of angry growls, snarls, and barks were heard, so the bell was rung again. James entered, carrying the salver, but with a look of distress on his face: “Pardon me, madam,” he said, with a deferential cough, “but I could not in- dooce the hanimal to sit on the salver. "E knocked me down three times, and bit me something cru If the gentle- man wants ‘im. i outside, covered with mud."”—London Tit-Bits. Nothing to Worry About—“A dog is man’s devoted friend.” “He ought to be,” commented the man with an idle disposition. “If I had somebody to pay my taxes and provide my board and lodging, I'd feel mighty friendly myself.""—Washing- ton Star. A R Original—“ My latest painting.” “T never saw a sunset look like that.” “Well, what do you think I am—a mere copyist?""—Pittsburgh Post. Progress—“When a girl she could be made to hold her tongue.” “And now?” “Why, now she gets a thousand dollars a week for singing into a graphophone. Florida Times-Union. Radical Departure—“‘This press agent tells the palpitating public that his chorus will appear in ‘mysterious, fluffy things.” “Well! Well! Is the stage headed for the opposite extreme?” “What do you mean?” “His statement suggests that the chorus might ‘wear’ a few clothes.”- Birmingham Age-Herald. His Grievance—“ What is ger on the war path about?” “He claims the prima donna married again without consulting him.” “That strikes me as being a private matter in which he had no concern.” “You are wrong there. We understand he had her solemn assurance that he was next on her waiting list.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. the mana- Precarious “Ere, git off- it. You're shaking the whole Building.” —Byy stander (London). comicbooks.com