Judge — January 18, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Retribution How It Happened —It collision between automobiles, an young lady witness was) beautiful, “Have accident?" I think so.” “State what, in your opinion, cau: the collision.” “Must I tell the trut “You have sworn to do so.” ‘Well, I was standing on the corner This gentleman tumed to look t something and ran into the other machine What did he turn to look at Must I answer?” “You must “If T must,” said the pretty witness he tu ved to look with a vivid blu at me. ansas ( Not Interested— "What was Niblick’s xe yasolincless Sun- uttitude toward days, now abolishe “Strictly academic “What do you mean by that?” “He doesn’t own a car and never ex pects to own one, and having a cork leg he never strolls along the highways Birmin m Age-Herald The Height of Economy—The ser geant major had the reputation of neve being at a loss for an answer. A you cer made a bet with a brother o} that he would in less than twenty-four hours ask the sergeant major a question that would baffle him. The sergeant major accompanied the young officer on his rounds, in the course of which the cook house was inspected. Pointing toa large caldron of water just commencing to boil, the officer said Why does that water only boil round the of thecopperand not in the center? he water around the edge, sir.” replied the veteran, “is for the men or guard; they have their breakfast half ar hour before the remainder of the com. pany.”"—The Independent. cdg Thought It Was Housework—Gen eral C. C. Williams, chief of ordnance said at a Washington dinner party: Comforting —" How did the shortage “The pluck of our boys is tremendot of gasoline affect you?” If you ever hear anything suggestive o! “Well, it. was a kind of comfort to funk on the doughboy’s part, you can rest know offhand exactly why the old ma- assured that investigation will clear it up hine wouldn't run.” —Waushington Star “Like the case, you know, of the chap who said: “I'd like to volunteer for the infan try, but mother won't let me.’ do you sap “What!” said a listener. ‘A big siv footer like you, and your mother won't let you!” The Expert’s Idea— She— George, dear, here's a scientist who says the earth is wabbling on its axis. Wh Pose they can do about it? George (absently)—-Open the mufiler, reverse the lever, shut off the power, lu- * said the young man calmly; hten the so I've volunteered for mine sweeping.’ “*Mine sweeping? Good gracious Perfect that’s more dangerous than infantry fighting by a darn sight.” "I know it is,’ said the young fellow “but mother don’t.” ""— Detroit Free Pres bricate the bearings, and 1 wheel cap.—Clereland Plai Ancient Grievance—“The Germa: soldier who cursed Columbus for dis covering America has & counterpart in + from Alabama.” “How is that?” “T overheard one of our boys giving Julius Cesar ‘Hail Columbia’ for not finishing up the Germans when he had the chance.”--Birmingham Age-Herald Perils of a Non-Combatant— ‘Blig- gins says he ought to have a medal for courage. “But henever got into the real fighting.” “He admits it. And he says it quired a lot of courage to keep showing tt up in a uniform day after day at the L club.” —Washington Star. “Don't you play the pia “I'm afraid not comicbooks.com |