Judge — January 18, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MATRIMONY Much More Important—/He—Didn't vou promise at the altar to love, honor and obey me? She—Goodness knows what I prom ised. I was listening to hear what you promised.— Boston Transcript, Long and Short of It—“ What is the grievance this fellow has against his wife?” “He says she wears her skirts too short.” “Umph!” “But she came right back at him.” “How?” “She says he's such a tightwad she has to wear her skirts too long.” —Bir mingham Age-Herald. He Knew Why —Mrs. Henpeck She's very pretty, but she hardly says a word I can't understand why so many men propose to her. Mr. Henpeck—Lcan.—London Answers Alternative—H —Richard, are we going to the Blanks’ dance or not? If we are, it’s time for me to dress. If not, [ must put a mustard plaster on my chest and go straight to bed.—Boston Transcript. man who gives in aid the street orator, sin when Correct—" The when he is wrong, “isa wise man; but he who gi is right is—" Married!” said a meek voice in the crowd.—London Tatler Almost Forgotten—Mrs. Manager was about to start on an outing with her act me see. Here’s the lunch bas ket, here’s the field glasses, and here’: the bundle of umbrellas. I think we got everything, and yet Children, we haven't forgotten anything, have we?” “Shall I get in now, my dear?” her husband, pulling on his driving gloves. “Why, yes, Manager. something else! of course!" beamed Mrs et in! I knew there was Rehoboth Herald. The Unknown Hero—To her soldier: “If you go back again I'll marry some- body: else.” “Tdon’t mind. I’m not going to worry about the misfortunes of a chap I'll never know.” —Sydney Bulletin. As It Seems to the Traveler (Cr soewa shee mm I OIVER 5 XHeZ enne un acide And then you a ind fifty On the Guest List—* As your hus. band,” protested Mr. Meekton, “1 think you ought to show me some respectful consideration.” “I do,” replied his wife. “If you weren't my husband I shouldn’t think of inviting you to my parties.”—Town Topics. Damning with YOUNGSTERS A New Idea—* What is the connecting link between the animal and vegetable kingdoms?” asked the teacher. “Hash!” yelled the class with one voice. —Cincinnati Enquirer. AML Alike—“ Which would you rather have,”’ we asked The Heiress during the period she is allowed each day to hold the young man, “ Brother John or a nice, new big doll?” “Brother,” she replied, wisely, “but you know I've really got to have a oew doll, t00.""—Detroit News Next of Skin—Willic was in a bad temper. His mother had just discovered that there was net a clean nightshirt ready for him to wear “Never mind, Will she said, con ngly. You will have to put on one of your sister's nightgowns tonight.” “What, a girl’s?”” snorted Willie, drawing himself up haughtily. “Yes. Why not?” asked mother, in surprise “T won't wear it!’ declared the small I'd rather go, to bed raw!” istian Messenger Faint Praise Proud Father—Well, Mac, what do you think of him? Mag (critically: surveying the parent)—Och! not bad—conseederi comicbooks.com