Judge — January 11, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cock o° the War The Triumphant Gallic Cock.—Esquella (Barcelona). to MATRIMONY Indefinite Liability—A citizen whose daughter was to be married, and who had been trying to get a line on what the expense of the rather elaborate ceremony would be, approached a friend of his, secking information. Morris,” he said, “your oldest daugh ter was married about five years ago, wasn’t she? Would you mind telling me about how much the wedding cost you?” “Not at all, Sam,” was the answer. “Altogether, about $5,000 a year.” Cleveland Plain Dealer. io Sense of Direction hall we ever h a woman steering the ship of state “I hope not, if she is like my wife,” remarked Mr. Dubwaite. “Why is that?” “Mrs. Dubwaite, I’m proud to say, is a woman of superior intelligence, but she still relies on her wedding ring to show her which is her left hand.”—Birmingham I ge-Herald. A Little *Front’’—H/ub—There’s no use my giving you a check, my dear; my bank account is overdrawn. Wife—Well, give me one anyway, and make it for $500. I want to pull it out of my handbag with my handkerchief at the club this afternoon.—Kansas City Jour- nal. War of Conquest—Patience—Do you believe the war was one of conquest? -atrice—Well, I know a lot of girls who got husbands by it.—Yonkers States- man A Great Convenience—“ You say it was a marriage of convenience?” “Tn one way.” “How so? “T understand the bride’s father finds it a great convenience to have a million- aire for a son-in-law.”"—Birmingham Age- Herald. On One Subject—Wally—You say her husband is stone-deaf? she wants more diamonds and he won’t hear of it.—Town Topics. The Inferior Male—“ Hello, Dub- waite. What are you doing slipping out your back gate?” “Just beating a strategic retreat. 1 gave a friendly huckster at the front door the high sign to keep Mrs. Dubwaite engaged until I put a few blocks between myself and home.”—Birmingham Age Herald. An Involuntary Truth—Shapeleigh —I can’t stand your extravagance any longer. Mrs. Shapeleigh—You're most unrea- sonable, my dear. No one could get along with fewer clothes than I wear.— Town Topics The Last Straw Ao Ge SALESMANSHIP No Chance—Salesman of Advertising Would you care for space in the Spicy Set Monthly, Mr. Goode? Manufacturer—1 thought you under: stood that I want all my advertising next to pure reading matter?—Buffalo Ex- press. The Tired Business Man—“I tell you, the American business man leads active life!” “T should say so! When a business man gets good and tired his idea of rest is to spend half the night at a musical nd the other half at a supper —Washington Star. comed party. One Way of Killing Off a Competi- tor—“TI want to know if you will give me a recommendation?” “I should say not. I discharged you for incompetency.” “Your competitor tells me, sir, that if you will write a letter of recommenda- tion, he will give me a position. I hope you won’t stand in my way.” hat’s different. I don’t know any quicker way of crippling his business than to get him to hire you. Sure I'll give you a letter." —Detroit Free Press for, Parlian London Opinion. woman (chatting with Parliamentary Candida in’t it? Wot with the air-raids and the U-boats and the 'flu—and now w c)—Yes, mum, the war's got a comicbooks.com