Judge — January 11, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Practical—He was looking for a chance to pop the question and the girl was not averse “Did you pay my little brother to re main out of the parlor?” she asked “Yes; Lhope I was not presuming.” “You were not. But if you paid him, I we ’ They're Journal engaged now as City Unappreciated Wit—" Men are really too mean for anything.” “What's the trouble now?” “Why, Lasked John for an automobile today and he said that I must be con- tented with the splendid carriage that nature has given me."—St, Louis Globe- Democrat. Repartee— Tillie Clinger says that the reason she didn’t last long as ladies’ teller at the bank was because when Mrs. Pomperosity accused her of impertinence she told her to go chase herself. —Galves- ton News Reassuring Her—"I sce they are go- ing to tax talking machincs.”” “Well, my dear, that probably won't affect you, and if it does I'll cheerfully pay the tax.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. ake the Cash and Let the Credit Go! Keeping the Home Fires Burning Durable Souvenirs saidthe girl. “When we write to the boys we express our sentiments in in| write presenting “Dooty” medal)—It gives me great pleasure, O'Cc bank. I O’Connor—Thank ye, sort. Pricate O'C me breast and put the medal in the bank?—Passing Show (London) nor—If ye wouldn't mind nox But, sorr! It isn’t fair,” id they L’Horizon (Paris) s to pin this medal n your breast, and to tell you that I am also placing twenty-five dollars to your credit in the jorr, couldn't ye pin the twenty-five dollars on WHEEZES Anticipation—“ Take that ink away from the baby.” “Aw, let him write a novel if he wants to. Gotta begin some time.” — Louisville Courier-Journal. Keep Your Tongue In, Bill Young Bill Heck, who recently cut his tongue while shaving with a safety razor, is again able to talk.—Tipton Gazette Seeing the Whirl—Sarah—She says she’s going to travel hundreds of miles on her honeymoon. Jane—That’s easy for ‘er; ‘er chap runs a merry-go-round.— London Tit-Bits. In Frozen Dog—“ Better quit laugh ing at that fellow.” “He's a poor shot at billiards.” “Mebbe so, but that’s Pizen Pete, and he’s an all-fired good shot with a gun.”’—Kansas City Journal. Man of the World men in this village?” “Well, there’s old Squire Gaddup’s son, Ezry. He once took a chorus girl to the ‘Busy Bee’ café.” “Ab! A real cutup.” “Yep. An’ by gosh, he’s still got th’ supper check to prove it!” —Birmingham I ge-Herald. “ Any fast young Might Call It That—Jail Visitor—My friend, have you any religious convictions? Prisoner—Well, 1 reckon that’s the right word. I was sent here for robbing a church.— Boston Transcript. An Additional Error—Mrs. Blun derby said she didn’t think much of Shakespeare's plays, though she found the antics of the two Romeos in “The Comedy of Errors” very amusing — Kansas City Journal. Ascum—There goes that bbalot. What a marvelous gift of conversation she has! Wonder what she does when her tongue gets tired? Kidder—Oh, she probably lets her teeth chatter.—I/ndiana polis Star. His Guess Crushing Retort—Algy—When he called you a fool what did you say, dear boy? Reggie—I told him that some chaps don’t know enough to keep their opinions to themselves.—Boston Transcript. comicbooks.com