Judge — January 4, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Of Course—Senator King said at a luncheon in Washington: “T heard last Sund. mon on women's fashions. The natural me Here The text, naturally, taken from Revelation.” Press. an eloquent ser- text, Senator King smiled he added, Detroit “was Pessimist on Husbands—Scnator Lodge was talking about an outrageous profiteer. “The man is not typical,” he said. “If hewere typical, then I'd despair. I'd grow as pessimistic as the middle-aged woman. “A salesman was selling a bedroom clock to a girl. “I recommend this clock with its illuminating attachment to switch on,’ he said. ‘It’s.a very good thing to tell what time your husband comes home, you know.” “*But I haven’t got a husband,’ the girl “Oh, you the salesman, Yes, but not that kind of a husband,’ said the girl “Then it was that the middle-aged woman stepped forward. “* My dear child, the she said. ‘Young man, clock.’""—Washington Star, have some day,’ said re all that kind,’ I'll take that An Appreciative Reader—Dr. Alex- ander Meiklejohn, president of Amherst College, told a story of his address to the graduating class at Haverford recently. It seems that President Lowell, of Har- vard, had just published a new book and had asked his publisher to send compli- mentary copies to some of his friends. By mistake two copies of the book were sent to one gentleman, who promptly wrote to Dr. Lowell as follows: “Your new book reached me safely. I have read the first volume with great interest and am now half way through the second.” Boston Transcript. Sailing Close to Fact—Food Regula- M O N E Y tor Merritt was discussing the high cost of living and other things, and remarked * The fluctuations come so fast that it is impossible to keep an accurate line on prices. We are all in the same position as the small boy who said to his mother **Why do hats cost more than houses, mamma?’ **But they don’t, you think so?’ “Well, that sign says: “Hats, $10 up,” and yesterday I saw a sign that said, “Houses, $10 down Detroit: Free Press. What made dear. The Prophetic Slogan Els lemes profét Deutschland Gracia (Barcelona). So To Speak—“Dear mother,” he wrote, “* Ernest swallowed a dime yester- day and we have been much worried ever since as to whether or not he is going to be ill.”””. Then he addressed the letter to Boston, A week later the old lady re- plied “My dear son,” she began, “I have been unable to rest since hearing from you last. Please let me know as soon as you can if Ernest got over his financial difficulties all right.’"—Journal of the American Medical Association. . Conditional —Milliner—I know that hat would please your husband. Customer—Not unless you took $20 off the price—Kansas City Journal. Vain Pursuit—“So Niblitz is dead?” “Yes.” “Did he leave any property?” “ Nothing to speak of. blitz was the kind of man who had an idea that For- tune was always just around the corner.” “But he never succeeded in overtaking her?” “No. He was either mistaken in the location of the corner, or he lingered in the middle of the block until Fortune moved on to some other corner."’—Bir- mingham Age-Herald. touldn’t Afford Manicuring— Lady ‘es, they are very nice gooscberries, but aren’t the Street Vender—Ditty? Think I can wash 'em and part the rin the middle for tuppence a pound in these times? London Tit-Bits. Idle Tears—Member of Touring Com- pany—My good lady, the last place I stayed at the landlady wept when I left. Landlady—Ohb, did she? Well, I ain't going to. I want my moncy in advance. —Pearson's Weekly. comicbooks.com