Judge — January 4, 1919 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Joun A. Stetcuer, President Revwer P. Surrcner, Seerctary J Perriron Maxwett, Editor A. Warprox, ‘Tomorrow HE NEW YEAR! And what a year it promises to be! Never before in our land will so many industrial wheels be a-spin; never in our history will commerce and the arts flourish with such vigor as in 1919—the enaissance year, the high-spot of endeavor and pros- perity. America, no longer aloof and provincial, takes her place in world affairs—a nation to be reckoned with by all other nations. Victorious in war, we shall be equally victorious in the large concerns of Peace. It is a great thing to be an American today; it is a great thing to be alive and doing in this new dawn of civiliza- tion—alive in a resawakened, rehabilitated, re-created world. Here’s to NOW! Give A Doc a Bap Name ARENTS “like to make it easy for the children.” The washerwoman bending over her tubs remem- bers how hard her life has been. She “doesn’t want to be too hard on the boy.” Her boy too often graduates into the penitentiary through the preparatory school of gambling house loafer, confidence man, burglar. The successful business man forgets that he had to work, and work hard. He “wants his boy to have a good time.”” He buys him fancy clothes, and bulldogs, and touring-cars—swears a little at the bills, but pa them. He knows where his “help” spend their time but he doesn’t know where his boy spends his time. His boy marries an adven- turess, or murders somebody, and then he “wonders why the devil he got heirs.” Suc- cesSful in business, but un- successful in the one vital business of fatherhood! “A good name,” Solomon said, “is better than precious ointment.” “Give a dog a bad name and hang him,” the proverb has it. War has proved a stern step-father. It has made men of thousands of boys whose fathers and mothers were doing all they could to make — Drawn by A. B, Waxes them worthless. Creaninc House drt Director 2. Rottaver, Treasurer. Grant Hasitrox, Editor Editor Lawrox Mackatt, Mana; By Gum! F all our minor vices, none has been more repre- O hended than the chewing-gum habit. Our grandmothers reserved their deepest scorn for “poor feckless critters that can’t do nothin’ but chaw gum.” Chewing gum, we have been told, does things to our gastric juice. It plays hob with our stomach lining. Inshort, what itdoes to our digestive economy is a-plenty. Worse than that, it destroys the cupid’s bow of our mouth and raises havoc with our personal pulchritude a fact the more lamentable since so many gum-chewers are of the sex designed by nature to charm, embellish and adorn. But these thoughts are all of yesterday! Gum- chewing was gloriously called to the colors. Non- essential civilians had to conserve on chewing gum for two good reasons—first, to make sure there would be plenty for the boys over in France, and second, to make sure there would be plenty for the women in our indus- tries at home. The boys had to have it because it slaked their thirst. The women had to have it because —well, because. Perish the dictarian, or the beauty specialist, who dare asperse chewing gum now that it has been proved a slaker—not a slacker! Space-ACHE OOKING back over these four years we see now ~ the exact German disease. . It was Space-Madness. The first Space-maniac was Alexander the Great, who, when he had no more worlds to conquer, sat down on a fireplug and wept. Then came along Ghengis Khan, who had an enormous appetite for other people’s town-lots. Then Boss Attila, who dreamed of speaking his pon- derosity all over the earth. He had space-ache every night. And the last of the Space- maniacs is about to be put back on his own cellar door and nailed there. Sic transit gloria Nuts! ! comicbooks.com