Judge — December 7, 1918 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i COMEBACKS Mosaic Edict Against Swine—\ greatly respected Philadelphia rabbi was about to take his seat in a Chestnut street car when an agile draft-age youth by slipping sinuously “beat him to it” into the vacaney The rabbi must have expressed a slight annoyance in his features, for the young man added insult to injury by saying with cool effronte: “What's the mat u? You look as if you wanted ter with y to cat me The Jewish gentleman was equal to the forbidder he answered quietly, “but I: Philadelphia Led Twisting Her Meaning—Il ie ( 3 a.m.)—This is a nice time for a husband to come home! Husband (good-naturedly)—Sh! Sallie. s is not a nice time for a husband to Iam surprised at your saying such You ought to set your husband Roller Monthly come 1 thing better example! WORDS Yankee Dialect—Old Englander —1 knew you were from the States as soon as I heard you speak New Englander—Why? “Oh, you say ‘heaow’ and ‘neaow’ and “ceaow’ for ‘how’ and ‘now’ and ‘cow.’” “Is that so? Then all your blooming cats over here must have come from my country.” ‘0 they didn’t.” Then what in blazes makes all say "Youngstown them Tele- “meaow gram. English As She Is Twisted—Has the railroad tower man got anything to do with the unsimplified spelling so much in vogue in many of our words? Some genius for poetry and orthography, on the Nashville, Chattanooga & St. Louis has figured out this poetical effusion for us, 1 he is not so far off, cither: nT, and an O anda U With an X at the end spell SU And an E anda Y and an E spell | Pray what is a speller to do? Then if an S and I anda G And a HE D spell side, There's nothing much for a speller todo But go commit siouxeyesighed ailroad Red Book. li an S and Source Hollandaise ] roa matreaco | neaves | Better than St. Hele don EF \ Hlow Come, Indeed! /ilda—Pass the ‘lasses. Lizzie (who has attended school Don't say “‘lasses."” Say molasses. Tilda—How conte I s when I ain’t had none yet? Picayune mo” ‘lasses Orleans Division—IWillie—Paw, what is hush money? Paw—Hush money is the ten bucks you slip your wife when you get home irom a poker game so she won't bawl you out for an hour, my son.—Cincinnati quirer. The nal camoufiée; il. iflaged and they YOUNG THINGS } \ Plea in Defense—He—I'd like know why you girls get engaged to several men at once She--When you have only one match, Boston Transcript. doesn’t it go out? Heard Him the First Time—A few evenings ago Peggy Pride was dining with a bibulous gent from the Middle West who had wearied her for an hour with acc or so nts his business achievements and his wealth emanating therefrom. Finally he said: “I’m not handsome, but I guess you've met fe lows that interested you less than I dé * A ch?” Receiving no answer, he repeate his question Peggy replied: “1 heard you the firs time. I’m just thinking about it nen Topics A Condition — Bertha —What father say when you asked him if you could marry me? Percy—He didn’t really refuse, but he made a very severe condition Bertha—What was it? Percy—He said he'd see me first.—Tit- Bits hanged Clever Girl—Juck (about to go)— Hello! It’s raining Betty—Take father’s umbrella; then he'll be glad to have you call again.— Boston Transcript Dead German Peace Dove comicbooks.com