Judge — December 7, 1918 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Turkish Peace Cry bretelles, jarr pour ene —— 4 i \ OCATIONS ooo | Could Have Rung the Bell—Kin Hubbard likes to study character at close range. In a restaurant, one day, Hubbard was greatly interested in a man whose reach would have made him famous as a pugi- list, and whose activity was second only to his reach. The manner in which the man grabbed right and left, picking up this and putting down that caused Hubbard to tap him on the shoulder and inquire: what do you do for a liv- ing “Tam a hack driver,” the man replied. “Well, you surely have missed your calling.” “ Missed my calling?” “Yes, you'd have made the hit of your life as a Swiss bell ringer." —Youngstown Telegram Nothing Better in Sight—In an Irish courthouse an old man was called the witness box, and, being infirm nd just a little near-sighted, he went too far in more than one sense. In of going up the stairs that led ¢ box he mounted those that led to the bench. The judge good-humoredly 4 stead Is it a judge you want to be, my good man? “Ah, sure, yer Worship,” was the reply; “I'm an old man now, an’ mebbe it’s all I'm fit for." —London Globe. The Game's Exactions—“Some of you men who play poker day and night ought to be taken up for loafing.” “Playin’ poker in Crimson Gulch,” answered Three-finger Sam thoughtfully, “may be non-essential. But if you per- teck your interests it ain't loafin’.”— Washington Star. When France Increased the Pay of Her Soldiers "oucrage. “1 ice by the papers that we are to have with our M ATRIMO N Y i Closefisted Edith That dreadful looking old man her husband? I don’ what she married him for. see Marie—1 don't think she sees much of what she married him for either. —Peur- *s Weekly Hindsight — Fortunc-Te examin lady’s palm)—Beware of a strikingly handsome, tall, dark-haired man Fair Customer—Too late for that. 1 rarried him.—New Maven Register Intricate Reasoning Aunt Belle, you had your life to live over again hat would you do? I'd get married before enough to decide to be ar Boston Transcript A Woman of Distinction—While touring Tennessee in a motor car, Parker Welsh caught up with a lanky native who was ambling along the road The native, after some parleying, was persuaded to get into the machine. “Which way are you going?” asked the tourist To'd Clinton,” A little later in Welsh asked: * Are you a married man? “Yassah, got six chillun.”” “You don’t look as old as that “Yassah. Goin’ on 66. “Well, well!” fy wife ain't that ole, “How old is your wife?’ , y about the man replied the conver the - , that woman is the best hoe hand in Chilton County..""—Youngs- town Telegram Took It Back—Wife—Whenever I kiss you, vou ask me if it’s a new dress I want. You are unfair. Hub—Well, pethaps 1 am. After all, it be only a hat.—Boston Transcript . Easy to Manage—*‘It must be a sad disappointment when a woman marries a man thinking him brilliant and discovers later that he is stupid.” “That depends a great deal on her temperament,” replied Mr. Dubwaite, thoughtfully. “A stupid man is usually docile, you know."—Birmingham Age- Herald. comicbooks.com