Judge — November 30, 1918 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Misogynist The Maid (discussing new farm-help)—Has he ever smelt powder, do you know? The Soldirr—Im? ‘Im smell powder? Not much! 'E’s a blinkin’ woman-hater!—Paysing Show (London). (een ee LAWYERS | Trespassing—A —garrulous lawyer was arguing a case. He had rambled on in such a desultory way that it became very difficult, to follow his train of thought and the Judge had yawned ominously. Whereupon the long-winded lawyer, with a trace of sarcasm, said: “T hope, Your Honor, I am not unduly trespassing upon the time of the Court.” “My friend,” observed the Judge, “there is a considerable difference be- tween trespassing on time and encroach- ing on eternity.” —Chicago News That's Different—Lawyer—1 cannot take your case. Circumstantial evidence is so strong against you that it would be impossible to prove your innocence. Prisoner—But I am not innocent; I am guilty Lawyer—Oh! Then maybe I can clear you.—Washington Star. Forestalled—* Mr. Blackstone,” said the close-fisted man who wanted to get some legal information without paying a fee, “I would like for you to give me a little advice, just between friends, and not in the way of business, you know.”” “Certainly, sir. I shall be glad to ad vise you to the best of my ability on any subject under the sun except law.’’— Birmingham Age-Herald. Explained—* Why are there so dog- gone many lawyers in this country?” asked the Old Fogy. “Because there are so doggone many laws in this country explained the Grouch.—Cincinnati Examiner. Suspicious—“ Have you got a lawyer looking after your interest?" “Nominally; but I rather think he has his eye on my principal.”— Boston Transcript. FOOD | All Round Surprise—A Philadelphia newspaper which presents, each week, a table of “Fair Fish Prices.” divides it into three sections, “Low-Price Group,” “Moderate Group,” and “Luxury Group.” In the “Luxury Group” is listed catfish, which will be a surprise to a great many persons; and probably to the catfish.— Detroit N Envious of Fido—"I’m !eading a dog’s life,” said one member of the Grouch Club. “I'm not doing that well,” answered another. “The bread my wife tries to cook isn’t nearly as satisfying as dog biscuit.”"—Washington Star. Playing for Sweetness—Buck—I do believe Jigger is flirting with that pretty waitress. Wing—Looks like it, doesn’t it. Buck—And he a married man! Wing—Don't misjudge him. I happen to know he is just doing that to try to get an extra spoonful of sugar in his coffee. Youngstown Telegram. Yankee Jam—“ Mother?” “Yes, Arabella—"” “TI think we ought to call this stuff Yankee jam.” “Why? “ Because every time I it tries to go over the top.” Telegram. to stir it up Youngstown War's Hardships and Soft Drinks 1914—Mi dia qualche cosa ch Mi dia qualche cosa che m 1914—I'd like a nice appetizer. facia cenire Vappe faccia passare app. 1918—What have you got in the way of an appetite suppresser? IU 420 (Florence). comicbooks.com |