Judge — November 30, 1918 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Consolidated Gas Company, Atten- tion! Je vous demande pardon, M'sieur Coficier, on ‘sy trompe avec toutes ces abrécations, qu'estece que cela reut dire G. A. Z." “Excuse me, sir. I get so mixed up with this officers’ insignia. What does the G, A. S. on your collar mean?"— La Baionncae (Paris). | BAD BREAKS **Howlers’’—In a mathematical ex- amination I once asked the boys to define the word “prism.” One boy answered, “A prism is a kind of sphinx,” and illus- trated his answer by a picture of a pyra- mid. Among a number of “howlers,” chiefly from the University Correspondent, the following are worthy of reproduction: “A cuckoo is a bird that does not lay its own egg: Q. “Name six animals peculiar to the Polar regions.”—A. “Three bears and three seals.” “The Pope lives in a vacuum.” “The Sublime Porte is very fine old : s is a town in Belgium famous for paint.”—London Spectator. Miss Pinky Doubles—Miss Pinky Slimmer sung a duet in the Newlight choir last Sunday.—Churubusco (Ind.) Truth. Along the Hearstian Way—‘ The Americans attacked on Sunday morning, DEBAUCHING along the Rheims-Soissons highway.—New York American. So French—I enjoyed your husband's humor so much. He is always chaffing, isn’t he?”” “Yes; I tell him he is quite a chauf- feur.”—Baltimore American. Gott in the Film—“It was an- nounced ... that the Archbishop of Canterbury had become a victim of ‘Spanish film.’ Another death from this OMNISCIENT complaint is reported from Blyth.”—London Mirror. An Earful—“He . . . peered into the outer darkness and LISTENED TO THE SHADOW OP THE PoREST.”’—“ Balaoo"’ by Gaston Leroux. Rather Wide Front—‘ The Siberian front has been moved 4,000 MILES west- ward over the night.”—London Daily Telegraph. Limited Lingo—“ The prisoner knew no EncutsH word but ‘KameRap '”— London Daily Telegraph. Unblushing Candor He—Did she say, “This is so sudden,” when you proposed to her? Ss said, “This suspense has been terrible.” Tatler (London). Chin Chin Tip—“‘ Perhaps you know clyn suggested, LOOKING E TIP OF HER CHIN.” —The the woman,’ AT HIM WITH TH Story-Teller. Unguarded—Young Minister (receiv- ing gift of fountain pen)—Thank you. L hope I shall now be able to write better sermons. The Lady—I hope so.—Boston Tran- script. A Reckless Knight—* spent ALL HE HAD on WHAT REMAINED sporting friends.” —People’s Friend. No, old man; she was honest, and ir Anthony is stables, and vent in entertaining his | POLITICS A Cold World—‘“ It’s surprising the indifference of people,” declared Candi- date Flubdub. “Can't get ‘em warmed up, eh?” “Nothing like it. Nobody seems to care whether I go to Congress or not.”— Kansas City Journal. Not Qualified to Speak—‘ Senator Twobble asked in thunderous tones if the United States Senate must take orders from a lot of petticoats.” “Hitting at the suffs, eh?” “Yes. You should have heard the tit- ter which greeted his remarks.” “What was the cause?” Senator Twobble is one of the worst henpecked men in public life." —Birming- ham Age-Herald. New Form—“ Now, gentlemen of the jury,” began the old lawyer. Hearing a cough from his partner, he stopped abruptly. “T beg pardon. tlemen of the jury Now, ladies and gen- —Kansas CityJournal. A La Mode—“ That politician says he has divorced himself from politics.” “Then you may be sure he has se- cured alimony.” —Baltimore American. Yep—‘TI should think it would make a fellow feel sheepish.” “What?” “Running for Congress against a woman.”—Kansas City Journal. More Like a Shock “On supprime les communiqués!” “Crest pour nous préparer une surprise.” They are withholding all war news.” Yes, they must be preparing a lite —Le Rire (Paris) surprise comicbooks.com