Judge — November 30, 1918 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| COURTING Distracted—“ What is your favorite opera?” “T like ’em all,” replied Mr. Cumrox. “An opera is the only place I know of where mother and the girls will sit all dressed up fur several hours and never pass an unfriendly remark about any- body.""—Washington Star. Gained by Losing and lost, eh, old chap?” “Onthecontrary, [came out a winner.” “How was that?” “She returned my presents and acci- dentally put in some of the other fel- tow’s.""—Boston Transcript. 0 you loved Careful—“ My husband considered a very long time before he proposed to me. He was very careful.” “Ah, it’s always those careful people who get taken in!”—London Tit-Bits. Not In His Case—“All the world loves a lover.” “Yah. Her mother hates me, her father says I"m a dub, and the florist won't trust me for any more flowers.””— Louisville Courier-Journal. All Alike—“ The girls can’t distinguish the differences in the various insignia.” “No; they are just as sweet to a second lieutenant as th re to a major general, bless their hearts!” —Louisville Courier- Journal. Caught—At onc of the summer camps, a father said to his pretty daughter one morning: “What time did you send that young Simpson home last night?” “Oh,” replied the girl, “I don’t think it was very late.” “It must have been close to midnight.” “Why, father!” “Didn't you send him out of the back door and hurry off to bed when you heard me coming in?” “Oh, I must have been in bed for hours when you came in.” ou heard me then.” “Yes. You woke me up.” “And you had been in bed for hours.” “Uh huh!” at certainly is funny.” “Why?” “Because when I went to light the lamp I nearly burned my hands off on the hot chimney.”—Youngstown Telegram. Far From the Gadding Crowd ux, Panam, c'est pas Mais ici, tout de méme, on est mon bousculé , old boy, leave in Paris isn’t bad. Bur, just the same, there’s more freedom from jostling here.”"—La Baionneite (Paris). A Damper—“I see you took that pretty girl into the conservatory.” “Yes.” “Did you propos: “Naw, we both kind of got cold feet ‘There was a married couple in there hav- ing a violent quarrel.—Kansas City Journal. Not Binding—‘So you have prom- ised to make Cholly happy, ch?” “T've agreed to marry him. That's all."—Kansas City Journal. His “Time 4, Ut, 4s } poctTors | Short Tether—Wife—Oh, Doctor, Benjamin seems to be wandering in his mind. Doctor (who knows Benjamin)—Don't trouble about that—he can’t go far.— Medical Pickwick, An Important Point—‘Your wife has imaginary ailments.” “Um.” “T'll just give her some imaginary medicine.” “Um. What kind of a bill are you going to render in this case, doc?”— Philadelphia Bulletin. Wifey'’s Soothing Syrup—Doctor- I'm afraid your poor husband is beyond help. I can hold out no hope. Voice from Bed— ‘oo are yer gettin’ at? 1 ain’t a-goin’ to snuff out! Wife—You leave it to the doctor,dearie; *e knows best!—London Passing Show. No Hallucination—A young man recently consulted a doctor and his com- plaint was a rather extraordinary one. He had scen a ghost. The doctor asked where he had seen the ghost and what it was like. “I saw it,” said he, “the other night when I was passing : it had a big mouth and long ears like a donkey.” “Go home,” said the doctor, “and say nothing about it; it was your own shadow you saw.”"—NV. Y. Globe. Had Come f YY UL ., is it true that old Fatty’s gone to work at last? Dreary—Been at it three weeks. Weary—Gor! Dreary—Six mi What's comicbooks.com 4 —— +