Judge — November 30, 1918 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Synonymous raph Clerk—I can't make out whe rn—What's the difference?—L pon were | WHEEZES | ee ne meena emma el Trouble Plus—Miss Stegomyia Fas- ciata, the long-legged skeeter with the silver-stripe stockings, is another unwel- come guest of this village, and she has evidently brought all her brood with het. When trouble is the multiplicand and hell the multiplier, the arithmetic of life pre- sents a multiplication table with whiskers on it.—Houston Post. Imagine!—It must be difficult enough to keep clean even the ordinary furnish- ings and hangings of a home where bi- tuminous coal is burned, but imagine the added drudgery of the family which also has a white poodle.— Detroit News Sportive—Man in Chair—Here, be a bit more careful with that razor; that’s the second time you've cut me. Barber—Well, well, so it is; but there! I always deduct a cent for every cut. Why it’s nothing for a man togo out of here hav ing wona dime off me.—Boston Transcript. Pride—“Who is the gentleman sur rounded by admiring friends?” “That's Mr. Dubwaite.” “ And what's the occasion? “Having invested every dollar he could spare in Liberty Bonds, he is proudly exhibiting a patch on his trous- crs." —Birmingham Age-Herald. Let It Go At That—“ Do you drink coffee in the morning?” “That's what my wife calls it.”—Bos- ton Transcript. The P: success in li “What do you mean? “Why, a man generally finds there is room at the top by going to the bottom of things." —Baltimore American d x——*How paradoxical is Of Course—* Would you say that she is good-looking?” “That depends.” “On what?" “On whether I was speaking of her face or to her face.""—Detroit Free Press In Gandyless France Un mot, ct je tente Pimp Je ceux des crottes aw ch ay the word and I'll atten n get me some chocol: P An Originator—“ My latest paint- ing.” “T never saw a sunset look like that.” “Well, what do you think I am—a mere copyist?""—Pittsburg Post. Authentic—* You say this picture you bought so cheaply is worth $10,000?” “Ves.” “Who told you that?” “The artist."—Kansas City Journal. Perfectly Agreeable—“So the actor made no demur about taking the house when you told him it had the reputation of being haunted?" “No; said he was only too glad to get any place where the ghost walked.” Baltimore American Independent Effort—Patience— Do you know the name of that piece? ’atrice—Do you mean the one the woman was singing or the one her accom- panist was playing?—Vonkers Statesman. This Complicated Age—‘Life is getting more complex every day.” “As to how?” Take the vaudeville performer, for instance. He has to stand on his head and play the violin as well.” * And there's the man in the restaurant window. He has to be a juggler as well as a cook.” Louisville Courier-Journal. AML Set—The* O; said you were a painter and could rig up some camoutlage to hold the enemy: back. What have you done? The Private—V've made one of signs I ever painted. It reads, passing” in four different languages.— Detroit Free Press r—Here you, you best res- Said the Other Girl—“Hasn’t she beautiful hair?” “Um.” “ How light it is. “Well, she can switch it off.’ Transcript. It dazzled me.” —Boston Easily Remedied—“ The second act is dead flat,” said the manager after the first performance of the extravaganza. “Ll rewrite it tomorrow morning,” remarked the author, who was new to the basiness. “Tut, tut!” said the manager. “My boy, all it needs is ten more show girls, three more spotlights and another animal comedian.”—Buffalo Express. comicbooks.com