Judge — October 12, 1918 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| pocrors | — Doctor, what Matter of Expens thm is the matter “You need about three months’ rest from business, that is all.” “Three months’ rest? That will cost me five thousand dollars. The aid E needed an operation for appen- ther doc- dicitis, That would cost me only one hundred dollars. [think Dll let him operate.” —Do re Hour. A Tactful Friend—Raymond Hitch- cock says that while he was lying in a Philadelphia hospital, convalescing from an operation for appendicitis, one of those fool friends, who always say the wrong thing in the wrong place, called on him and told him the following story to cheer him up: Philadelphia’s most famous appendi- citis expert has a dog of which he thinks a great deal, which had a lopsided walk. \ friend asked the « ron one occasion the cause of this. “Why,” was the reply, “he’s got ap- icitis, Then why don’t you operate on him?” ueried the caller. What, operate on that de Why, that dog’s worth a hundred dollars.” ‘al Era, Pharmacen Save Something—The boldness, but not the success, of modern surgery is exemplified in the following dialogue “What is on that plate?” “That is a tumor; it is a very large tumor; it weighs 112 pounds; the pa- ient weighed 83 pounds.” Was the tumor removed from the patient?” “No, the patient was removed from the tumor.” “Did you save the patient?” “ No, we did not save the patient, but we saved the tumor.” —Doctor’s Leisure Hour. Wordy—Doctor—I found on exami nation a contusion of the integument under the orbit, with extravasation of blood, ecchymosis of the surrounding cellular tissue, which was in a tumefied state, and abrasion of the cuticle. Judge—A black eye, eh? Doctor—Ot course.—British Practitioner. Medical Warning Don’t be a human atomizer, Think of others and be wiser. Smother your sneezes in your hanky. And your fellow cits will thankee. —Boston Transcript. The Cross-E j Mrs. Parker tional, Granny Old’ Lady (who has you taken a constitu- confirmed habit of ting other people's property) —You n busi: Tain’ en nothing belonging to you,—Tatler (Lo Even That Would Help—A phy- sician was called in to treat a case of delirium tremens. Can you cure the delirium tremens, Doctor?” he was asked. No,” answered the physician. Then what can you do?” he was asked I can make the snakes look smaller,” was the M.D.’s response.—Medical wick, BUSINESS & The Pass Evil—The circus advance agent was in a reminiscent mood “It beats all,” he said, “what notions line I the shoe salesman “A button came off my coat the day and I went into a tailor shop to have it sewed on.” Naturally.” “When the work was done tailor what was the expense “How much was it?” “He said, ‘Oh, that’s all right, I couldn’t think of charging you for a littl thing like that, you are a show feller, aren’t you?’ ‘Yes,’ I said. “Oh, well, hesaid, ‘you can just slip me a couple of passes and it will be all right.” “Can you beat it! Two dollars for sewing on a button is all he wanted.”’ Youngstown Telegram. “I suppose so,” Tasked the Indispensable— Cal/er—How is your new office boy getting along these days? Business Man—Oh, fine; he's got things so mixed up now that I couldn’t do without him!"—London Tit-Bits A Good Salesman—“What is your idea of a good salesman A bald-headed barber who can sell hair tonic.”"— Washington Star. That Noble Impulse F “Organisons une féte pour les blessés, ¢a nows distraira.” “I’m horribly bored. Let's get up an entertainment for the wounded or som Le Rire (Pa comicbooks.com