Judge — October 12, 1918 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Quelle ela: Fal classe 19!” | YOUNGSTERS One Great Advantage—* Maxine,” queried the teacher of the head scholar, “what is the difference between clectric- ity and lightning?” Youdon'thave to pay nothing for light- ning,”’ answered Maxine.—Chicago A Surprised Fl “Well, Junior “T was just reading that, for its size, a flea can jump farther than any other creature.”” “So I understand.” “And I was just thinkigg if a flea on a “ How surprised it would be when it lit to find it was still on the same d Youngstown Telegram A Special Messenger—“ There, now,” cried a little girl, while rummaging through a drawer in a bureau—“ there, now, grandpa has gone to heaven without his spectacles. What will he do? And shortly afterward, when anc aged relative was supposed to be sick unto death, she went running to his bed- side with the glasses in her hand and a message on her lips You goin’ to die?” They tell me so.” Goin’ to heaven?” “T hope so.” “Well, here are grandpa’s spectacles. Will you take them to him?"—London Tit-Bits. s, you say? Whatc n—I'm in the class 11919." —La Batonnet Corrected—Teacher—Willie, have you whispered today without permission? Willie—Only wunst. Teacher—Johnny, should Willie have said “ wunst"’? Johnny—No'm—he should have said twict.—Boston Transcript. Turn About—Ofice Boy—Can I get off to go to the ball game? Boss—No, you can't. Furthermore, you will have to work this evening; the office is scheduled for a double-header.— Boston Transcript The Decline and Fall of Hindenburg IMegally Clever—“What a silly ex press ‘© more sense than the law allows.’ Did you ever know a man who had more sense than the law allowed?” ~ Certainly! The jails are full of fellow who got there by being too smart. Boston Transcript. Query—Teacher—The ansient Greeks were handsome people. Ichabod—Whaddye mean, ancient? Teacher—Ancient means very old Ichabod—How old did they have to be before they got good looking?—Voungs- town Telegram. Poor Mr. John!—*What’s leis ey Leisure, my son, is the two minutes’ rest a man gets while his wife is hunting up something else for him to do.”— Boston Transcript. Still Signs of Life—A Glenwood Avenue man, calling at the house of a neighbor, inquired of the matron who answered his summon: Soandso in replied Mrs. Soandso, “he is down at the Lake Glacier bathing pool.” raking a dip?” No, he likes to watch the diving girls.” I thought he w J and too dig- nified to be interested in that sort of thing.” “When orge doesn’t take any inter- est in bathing girls,” said Mrs. Soandso, “Tam going to have him buried, because then I will know he is certainly dead.” Youngstown Telegram. too ¢ Its Usual Name—“ What a narrow street that is aid the visitor being shown about the suburban town by a citizen “Yes, it’s narrow,” replied the citizen “And in wretched condition. See the holes in the pavement.” “Yes, it looks bad.” “And dirty everywhere. What is the name of that stre “That's Grand Street Statesman. "—Yonkers Breathe It Gently—Mrs. Binks— This paper tells of a man who lives on onions alone. Mrs, Jinks (whose husband cats them) Well, anyone who lives on onions ought to live alone.—London Tit-Bits. comicbooks.com | | | ]