Judge — October 5, 1918 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| A Digest of the Vorlds Hanon | Te Wittiest Thoughts from the Drighte st Phin | YOUNGSTERS | Just Ordinary—“We don’t know what we'd do if it was not for the visits of our jovial friend, Rev. Dr. Cason, who every morning drops in to get the war news hot off the wires. Dr. Cason has two boys in action over there, you know. The doctor alw: has some new story to tell us, which helps to break the monot- y of these Fall day “His litule grand- daughter was very anxious to keep the day of fast and prayer recently selected by Presi- dent Wilson, when we were to offer extra prayers for our boys over there and the speedy termination of the war. “*Mamma,’ said the little tot, ‘what does fasting and praying mean, Pp ing fast?’ After the question had been fully answered, she descended the stairs, and kneeling beside a chair she said all the prayers she knew, then asked God to take care of all our boys over there, and help them whip the kaiser. “*Well,’ said her mother when she came down for breakfast, ‘have you said your prayers?’ ‘Yes, mother,’ she an- swered, ‘I said all the prayers I knew, then I just prayed common like a preacher.’ "—Orlando (Fla.) Reporter- Star. * Ah! Sapristi! What the Editor Said—Ofice-boy— The editor he’s much obliged to you for allowing him to see your drawings, but regrets he is unable to use them. Artist (eagerly)—Did he say that? Office-boy (truthfully )—Well, not exactly. He said, “Take ‘em away, Pimple; they make me sick.’’—London Tit-Bits. The First Twenty-four Hours Are the Worst Vous n'étes pas ceinards! Cing minutes plus tot et vous avies le train d’hier!” “Ah! That's too bad! You just missed it! If you had been five minutes sooner, you'd have caught yesterday's train."—La Baionnette (Paris). Too Much for the Stork—The head of the family glanced up from his paper and remarked: “I see there’s a new hippopotamus at the zoo.” Glancing at his son a moment later, he asked, “What are you laughing at, Harry!” “I was jus’ laughin’ to think of the stork carryin’a hipperpotamus!”’ returned Harry.—Harper’s Magazine. | GoLF | Those Accidental Good Shots— “That was a great shot you just made!” said a golfer, “I wish I knew how you did it.” “So do I,” replied the player, who was. - at least honest, and knew that it was an accident. — Detroit Free Press. Where He Gave Up—“You taught your wife to drive acar?” “And you taught her to swim?” “And you ex- plained baseball to her so that she grew to understand it?” “That's true.” “Why don’t you teach her to play golf?” “I tried that, but there’s a limit to my patienc —Birmingham Age- Herald. Father Dissents —Son (a golf en- thusiast)—You must admit, fath- er, that it re- quires a great deal of skill to drive a ball a hundred yards: Old Farmer—Shucks! It don’t require half as much skill as it does to drive a pig fifty feet—Boston Transcript. Bad Approach—Golf Enthusiast— What is your handicap, Mr. Meek? Meck (sotto voce)—S-sh! She's com- ing.—Boston Transcript. comicbooks.com