Judge — October 5, 1918 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

hDITORLAL Comment Creve aud Czy au Things as Ther Passe Wuat’s 1x A Name? HAT’S in a name? Shakespeare never would have asked the question, if he had run for President of the United States. We have had five Jameses, three Johns, three Williams and two Andrews. We have had a George, a Thomas, an Abraham, a Benjamin, a Martin, a Franklin, a Theodore. We have had a Ulysses—but he was baptized Hiram. We had a Grover—but he was baptized Stephen. We have a Woodrow—but he was baptized Thomas. A Zachary, a Millard, and a Chester are on the roll. Plain, unpretentious names. The one President who bore the fanciful name of Rutherford was the only President whose election was disputed. The contest- ant’s name was plain Samuel. Of the few near Presi- dents, besides Tilden, Clay was Henry, Webster was Daniel, Blaine was James, Hancock was Winfield, Bryan is William and Hughes is Charles. Not a Reginald or Percival or Algernon in the list! Our advice to the American boy who intends to be President (rank tautology, that, but let it go) is this: Pick out parents not showy but durable—not rich except in publicity possibilities—split rails or split infinitives—that sort of thing. Hooverize on parental palaces. But above all, don’t —don’t—don’t select a moth- er who'll wish a hifalutin’ story book name on you! Tue Puzzce or 1916 se OLITICS is ad- P journed,” President Wilson says. — Poli- tics must have been in a “constructive recess” at the time he was re-elected! How else account for it? He carried state after state that he couldn’t carry. He lost state after state that he might have won. Decisively beaten in New York, Indiana, New Jersey, he carried Ohio, Kansas, New Hampshire, California. He missed carrying Minnesota by an eyelash. Not a few of the states in which he won elected Republican Tue Last Drive candidates to other offices by great majorities that same day. Wilson is the first Democratic president re-elected for the succeeding term since the days of Andrew Jackson. He is the only President elected since the Civil War period without the vote of New York, save Hayes in 1876—and Hayes was elected by the Electoral Commis- sion. Grant won without New York just after the war, in 1868, but at that time the South was not voting. California re-elected Wilson. That is as if St. Lawrence county should elect a Democratic Governor of New York State, or Schoharie county a Republican governor! In a way, the re-election of Vice-President Marshall was even more remarkable. He is the only vice president to be re-elected since Daniel D. Tompkins in 1824, a period of almost a century. Sixes AND SEVENS * E don’t propose to break with Great Britain just because of their proposal that there shan’t be any more Canadian Grand Dukes, but if our girls can’t marry their Grand Dukes, then we aren’t going to let the Canadian girls marry our Chief High Cocka- lorums and Supreme Poten- tates of the Mystic Hoohoos, either. * . * Senator Hoke Smith of Georgia maintains that the President should not be per- mitted to disturb the existing agencies of civil government in time of war. The kaiser oughtn’t to, either. * * * Carranza declines an ia- crease of salary,onthe ground that it is unconstitutional. It is up to Villa to lose another leg or two and do it quick, or he might as well stay out of the Mexican primaries. os . Senator Overman compares President Wilson to Moses and asks that “‘as of old his hands be stayed up by Aaron and Hur.”” We can’t say as to Aaron—but she is too busy knitting to ask any more of her. comicbooks.com