Judge — September 28, 1918 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Read Carefully—One cannot compel readers to be too careful in reading adver- tisements. For example, this from a con- ond-hand auto with Sounds good enough until you buy it and find you can’t come home on the top. —Buffalo News. Nothing Doing—Driver in Army Service Corps—Serious! No, it wasn’t a serious accident. Second Driver—But I thought you said you nearly killed the fellow you knocked down? First Driver—Oh, "im? Yuss; ’e was ‘urt, but wot I mean is it 'ardly scratched the car.—London Tit-Bits. Owns a Flivver—“What kind of an engine have you in your car?” \ donkey engine, I guess. It’s aw- fully stubborn.”"—Boston Transcript. Neat—“ He's the tidiest man I know.” “What makes you think so?” “ He can even fill the grease cups on his car and not get most of the grease on himself.""—Debroit Free Press. Agreeable Coincidence—Creditur— You couldn’t ride around in your fine automobile if you paid your honest debts. Debtor—Th I'm glad you look at it in the same light that I do.—Boston Transcript. t's so. A Dark Purpose Revealed colonel. Vous voulez me “est mon gendre lui-méme But, Colonel, you aren't going to put me S Why, Colonel, my son- ome!"" he knew what ttration (Paris). would The Prussian Slave Pick up your tools! (sotto voce) Master Prussian S. Needs s_] Of Same Mind—A stout Irishwoman bearing a number of bundles entered a crowded street-car in Chicago. The only sign of a seat she could find was a small space at the right of a smartly dressed youth. Into this space suff t only for an individual of ordinary size, the stout lady squeezed herself, much to the annoy- ance of the youth. After a moment or so the Irishwoman produced a cheese ic proceeded to devour with eve of relish, Whereupon the youth ga nust when the Devil drives. N OETA ex ayuti | | Pd National News (London) a look of ineffable disgust’ and drew the skirts of his overcoat closer to him. I suppose, me lad,” good-naturedly said the woman, “that ye'd prayfer-r to have a gintleman sittin’ next to yer?” “L certainly would,” snapped the youth. “So would 1,” calmly responded the fat woman.—Exerybody's Magazine Kelly's Opinion—Kelly (after a few puffs)—Are ye sure this is a union-made cigar? Clerk—Surest thing I know Kelly—Thin, bedad, it wor intinded f'r th’ non-union thrade.—Buffalo Ex- press. comicbooks.com