Judge — September 28, 1918 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| WHEEZES | a It Can't Be Done—One of the sad- r saw was a fat man dest things we e trying to look cute—Roller Monthly. Came True—“ Do you believe in as- trology?” “Yes; an astrologer once told me that I would meet with an accident, and next day I fell off the water wagon.””—Boston Transcript. walking in his sleep. One night he got up and wandered about the streets until met by a policeman, who shook him, saying: . “Here—here! I'll have to arrest you. You can’t do this sort of thing.” “But, my good man,” expostulated the now thoroughly awakened sleep-walker, “this is not intentional. Iam asomnam- bulist.” “I don’t care what your religion is. You can’t walk about the streets in your pajamas." —Pearson's Weekly A Regular Heiress a une belle dot, la p'tiote?” 54 “J'eré ben, la mére—10 sacs de charbon, 2 litres d'essence et du sucre en poudre!” “Has the bride much of a dowry?” sugar."—La Baionnette (Paris). rare one, neighbor—to sacks of coal, 2 liters of gasc “ez and some genuine powdered His Kind—John Jones had a habit of Practical Inspiration “Ami Pigouncl, pourquoi cour o cous d faire des Pigounel? Faites-moi un Rembrandt. J'ai des demandes de Rembrandt, de la part de trois nourcau riches.” ber, why the deuce do you but Daubers? Paint me a Rembrandt. I've just had three orders for Rembrandts from munition makers."— L'Ilustration (Paris) Those Strenuous Farces—Circus Manager—Has our man-eating lion been returned? Animal Trainer—Yes, but he isa sight. Circus Manager—What's the matter with him? Animal Trainer—You know we rented him to a moving picture concern —— Circus Manager—Y es— Animal Trainer—Well, they made him work in several farces with the comedian and the poor thing nearly broke down under the strain.— Youngstown Telegram. fool and his None Too Many money are soon parted.” “That may be, but the difficulty of getting hold of money makes me believe there are fewer fools in the world than is popularly supposed.”—Kansas City Journal. Free Speech—Sallie—I heard you talking to yourself while you were taking your bath, Wil That’s a bad custom. Willie—I wasn’t talking to myself; I was talking to the soap. I slipped on it and fell—Roller Monthly. Can Do That, Too—"A woman can easily make a man go up in the air.” “Yes, but her success as an air pilot would depend on her landing him.”— Boston Transcript. Real Antiques—“I understand some very antique stuff was found in that old mansion.” “Yes, indeed. Some old poster beds, a Y century-old sideboard, ancient mahogany tables and chairs, and a barrel of flour.”"— Baltimore American. comicbooks.com