Judge — September 28, 1918 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Fooling Themselves—Some Wall Street men were getting considerable amusement out of arguments of General von der Osten-Sacken and others that there was no considerable number of American soldiers in France; and if there were, they were not fit for duty. One said “Tt reminds me of a lawsuit I heard in rural districts of Connecticut years ago. Farmers up there used big iron cauldrons to heat scalding water for hog- killing. One farmer sued another for damages, alleging that he had borrowed his cauldron, and brought it home cracked, “The defendant’s lawyer made his opening speech in which he said to the jury: ‘We shall make our defence under three principal heads: st, that ned the borrowed cauldron in per- condition; second, that it was cracked when we borrowed it; third, that we never had the cauldron at all.’ no difference in the two brands of logic.” | Wall Street Journal. we I see Another Recruit—He—Unless sent to be mine I shall go to war. She—All right. Remember now, that’s a promise.—Boston Transcript. you Why the Huns are Cutting Down on Their Cigars ps of rain and my —Lustige Blatter. onable Inference—“ Which of the big battles has your boy Josh been in?” All ¢ tossel, de “Then you've heard from him?” “No. But I never knew Josh to be anywhere in the neighborhood of a fight without being in it.”—Washing: * replied Farmer Corn- Perhaps a Penance Pilgrimage Votre maitre n'est pas ld?” “Non, monsicur, il est parti en eoyage.”? coyage d'agrément?” “Is the boss her Pleasure trip?” You couldn't call it that The Madame went with him “Oh! je ne crois point! Monsieur est parti azcc madame.” —Le Péle-Méle (Paris). ACATIONS | Needs it Badly—*So you are having trouble deciding where to go on your vacation. What sort of a place are you looking for?” “A place where my pocketbook can enjoy a vacation as well as its owner.” — Boston Transcript caught Two—“How did you get along with the heavy swells at the sea- Maria?” First rate, I am engaged to two of them now.”—Baltimore American. side. John Scored—She stood and glared at him. “And you mean to stand there and ask me to press your trousers?” she demanded. “Why, yes, my dear,” responde: Stubb. “Is that asking too much? “T should say it is, John Henry Stubb. I'd have you to know that when you married me you did not marry a flatiron.” That evening his turn came. “John, dear,” said Mrs. Stubb, “just button up my blouse before you go, there's a good man.” ‘ay, nay, Maria. When you ac- cepted me you did not say ‘yes’ to a but- tonhook,” and, picking up his hat, he romped out.—Christian Register. Mr. Easily Explained—“You say that neither of your stenographers wants a vacation this year. That's singular.” Not at all. You see I recently hired a handsome young secretary and neither of the girls is willing to go away and leave the field to the other one.”"—Boston Tran- script. Nice and Cool—“How’s things at Hamfat park in the mountains?” “All right I hear. Plenty of outdoor sports.” “What's the main sport “The proprietor doesn’t exactly claim as much, but from his prospectus I should infer that snow-shoeing was the thing just now.”—Kansas City Journal. A Mystery Explained—“What’s be- come of your old friend the Sea Serpent?” asked a vacationist at the beach. “ Has he been frightened off by the submarines?” “Guess not,” returned the hotel man- ager. “I rather think he’s sore over our treatment of him. Last time he was here we chased him off the coast. You sce, he caused so many men to sign the pledge that he was killing our bar business.”"— Boston Transcript. comicbooks.com