Judge, 1918-08-24 · page 6 of 32
Judge — August 24, 1918 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis This page satirizes a bureaucratic absurdity: a missing spectacle-case that traveled through numerous War Department offices during WWI without resolution. The **top cartoon** (by Sanford Tousey) depicts a recruitment officer asking a young man about his qualifications, with the candidate claiming an "excellent wristwatch"—implying that practical job skills matter less than having the right accessories. The **bottom cartoon** (by Gordon Grant) shows Corporal Snow, described as having "knowledge of French at zero, and limited talents in pantomime," desperately trying to determine from a French woman whether France possesses "a single watermelon." Together, these mock military incompetence and the disconnect between soldiers' actual capabilities and their assignments—a common WWI-era complaint about army organization and the absurd situations soldiers faced.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
clerks searched the file: gently for the spect i After a three-hour search, one of the clerks recalled that a f d been re- ceived without a file-number, and that it had been sent to the Division of Investigation of the Department of Justice for action. Hot on the trail of his spectacle-case, the Major has- tened to the Department of Justice, only to learn, after a long wait, that the case had been referred to the Army Medical School, Department Official communications, commencing “Referring to yours of the 17th, File No. 876,421—365, 11A, concern- ing a missing spectacle-case” —began to appear on count- less desks in government buildings. The Major became a fa- iliar figure in the Archives ion of the Adjutant- General's Office, the Board of Mediation and Concilia- tion, the Office of Naval In- telligence, the Bureau of Lighthouses, the Bureau of Public Health Service, the of Optics. an Military Intelligence Branch, . n by Saxrorn Tovsty mits ! Somewhat fatigued, but A ‘ the S —In what way, young man, do you consider FACTS still determined, the Major persisted in the pursuit. The Army Medical School, not knowing what to do with the spectacle-case, had mailed it to the Committee on Public Information, the Com- mittee on Public Information had shipped it to the Bureau of War Trade Intelligence, the Bureau of War Trade Intelligence had passed the buck to the Photo- graphic Laboratory of the Signal Corps, the Photo- graphic Laboratory had sent it to the Surgeon-General’s office, and the Surgeon-General’s office had slipped it quietly but firmly to the Binocular-Testing Division of the Aircraft Board. The days grew to weeks and the weeks grew to months; but the Major, hourly growing grayer and more exasperated, refused to abandon the hunt. qualified to jo Draton by Gorvox Grant poral Snow Madame Prudeau —“Well, I have an excellent wrist-watch.” a knowledge of French at zero, and lim er there is in the whole of benighted Fra and the Bureau of Standards, through all of which offices his spectacle-case had passed in its endless journey. And then one day, when he was only two jumps behind the fleeing case, the Major went blind. Realizing that any further search was useless, he gave it up and went home to live on his pension. The spectacle-case has never been found; and years after the war has ended, harassed Lieutenants, Captains and Majors will be send‘ng out letters commencing: “Referring to yours of recent date, File No. 1,267,841— 699, 32D, concerning one missing spectacle-case, we beg to state that—” War certainly deserves all the hard things that have been said of it. J talents in pantomime, about despairs of ascertaining from ¢ a single watermelon. comicbooks.com