Judge — August 24, 1918 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

pore: SE: | A Digeut of the Worldir Hanor “4 The Wittiest Thoughts from the Prightest Minds Bee Getting It Across tows reviendra qu'a 12,000 fran chaps you'd be interested in a nice Only $500—rid| I packing, s t charges it won't cost you but $2,400." —L' Illustration (Paris). THE WAR Had Seen Him—Dr. Llewellyn ey, director of the overseas war li- 'y, was entertained at dinner by a group of Johns Hopkins students on the eve of his departure for the front. A very rich young sportsman, afflicted with the malady known as swelled head, said to Dr. Rainey during the fish course: “I'm going to volunteer, doc, but I can't decide whether to take up the cavalry or the aviation wing. Which do you advise?” “The aviation, most decidedly,” Dr. Rainey replied. The young sportsman smiled. “Ah, you've seen me fly, have you?” “No,” said Dr. Rainey; “I’ve seen you ride.” —Washington Star. Business Manager—“ You'li have to work or fight, Rastus.”” “Dey can’t touch me, sah. I’se de manager ob a fambly laundry.” “What's the name of the laundry?” “Martha.”—Boston Transcript. oo yo A Proud Boast—‘‘It will be a proud boast in the future.” “What will?” “Instead of a fellow saying ‘I’m a self-made man,’ he'll stand up and say proudly, ‘the army made a man out of me.’ —Detroit Free Press. No Reply—“They say this feller Foch gocs right ahead on his own acco’ Jon’t ask no advice.” Vell, what advice would you give, Jabez, provided he asked you for some?” —Kansas City Journal. Munition’s Miracles Captain Jones, being on leave, runs down to his old home at Sleepyville for a few days’ peace and quiet. deep in the countryside.— The Bystander (London). Out of a Job—“ What was that man’s occupation who came asking you for a job a while ago?” “He said he used to be a railroad president.” —Baltimore American. Still Here—Buck—What’s become of the man who used to lay up something for a rain Wing—I saw him this morning, and he was buying a spare tire!—Youngstown Telegram. za TIGHTWADS Playing Even—Sylvester Tightwad, who can repeat the serial number of every bill he ever had and who has most of them still, became ill yesterday when in a moment of absent-mindedness he dropped into the street car hopper the two pennies he was carrying to buy a paper. He man- aged to even up by jumping off the car, catching a ride in an automobile and bor- rowing his neighbor’s newspaper that evening.—Detroit News. Had Been Noticed—“ My motto is: ‘Never give up.”” “T noticed that w people came around. hen the Red Cross Boston Transcript. Wants Credit—Bacon—What's old Closefist hollering so for? 7t—Some one told him he must give until it hurts. Bacon—Well? 2gbert—He just gave up a dollar for Bacon—Well, one dollar doesn’t hurt. Egbert—No, but he wants to give the people the impression that it does.— Yonkers Statesman. That’ War Tax on Snuff “Dites-done! caca serait peut-étre plus régu- lier de metire un impos sur les mez.” “Wouldn't it be. simpler, now, to tax noses?” —Le Péle-Méle (Paris). comicbooks.com