Judge — August 17, 1918 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“There's No Place i .. That's why I ain't goin’!"”- (London). His Specialty—‘* He's an infernal liar and a stuttering fool!” snarled Constable Sam T. Slackputter, he sat alone on the porch of the Petunia Tavern. “He's a thief, a reprobate and a “Here, Sam!” exclaimed the landlord, appearing at the doorway of the hostelry. “What in thunder are you doing cussing along that-a-way, all by yourself?” “Tam running down a criminal!” ominously replied the sleuth.—Kansas City Star. Feelingly—"“I_ hear he spoke feel: ingly.” You might call it feelingly. He kept groping around for a word.”—Louisville Courier-Journal. Dreadful!—“ This war is dreadful!” “Why, what’s the matter now?” “One can never tell when the laundry is coming home.” —London Opinion. His Alarm—“ The Government may take over what is considered excess profit.” “What is excess profit?” “Getting more than you earn.” “There goes my salary,” wailed Con- gressman Blubdub.—Omaha News. Right in It—“Not a war but a cru- sade,” says Gompers. Or as one might write it, “crU. —Boston Transcript. A.de.”” YOUNG THINGS Oh, Yes He Can—Bacon—When it comes to asking questions a boy can’t be beat. Egbert—What’s the reason he can't? Didn't you ever take a girl to a baseball game?—Yonkers Statesman. Complimentary—He—That’s a_re- markably bright girl I was just talking to She—But isn’t it rather hard to keep up with her? He ’s just it. I can’t tell you what a ri it was to meet you.—Bos- ton Transcript. “Pity the Blind''—“T was standing in front of the Tutwiler waiting for a friend the other day,” said Ernest W. House, “and just across the street a num- ber of pretty girls were waiting for a street car. It was windy, and there was quite a display of hosiery. Now this in itself would not have been so very un usual, but a fellow standing by me spied the exhibition, and then saw a blind man sitting only about a hundred feet away, with a sign, ‘Pity the Blind.’ “I do not know who he was, but his sympathies were aroused, for he turned to me and said, ‘I never was so sorry for a blind man in my life. Tam going across and drop a quarter in his cap.” And he did.” —Birmingham Age- Herald. Missing “Depuis la premiére alerte ya longtemps qu'il est la?” “And has he been down here long?” “Ever since the first air raid." —La Batonnette (Paris). comicbooks.com