Judge — August 10, 1918 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Luxury of Light qu'on ca mettre d cing us celles qui ¢ cents for a box of matches! It’s an es, and I hear they're going five cents fe on (Paris), |THE MELTING POT sername er Ss Se Gus Don't Lak Recall—Gus Peterson ha lak tu hav argument ven aver ha can find sum faller vot ain't agreable vithhem, so dis Gus ha hav talk fights avery day. Gus ha vas red hots republican and ha don’t care vary much for the bulls moose. Vone tam dis har Ottoe Case ha git in arguments vith Gus about polly ticks. Ottoe ha claim tu no more about it than Gus du because ha skal try avery kind of party. Haban republican—bulls moose— progressive—democrats, but ha ain't lak annie vone of them and ha tal Gus ha vas going tu start a new party. After they vas talking a long vile Ottoe say tu Gus: “Du yu belief in recall of yudges?” Not buy along vays,” Gus say. “The last tam Ay vas arrest the yudge tak gude look at me and ha say ‘Ay recall that face. Ninety day for yu. “Aver since that don't belie yudges recalling annie ting.”—Washing- ton State Weekly. e in The Scotch Method—“ Dae ye think this box is strong enough to trust in the van?” asked a Highland farmer at the railway station. I doot it,” replied the porter; “but we'll see.” He lifted the box and let it fall with a crash. “It'll get that here, he said. “An’ it'll get that ’—he gave it another bang—‘‘at the junction. An’ at Dundee it'll get that.” The third “that” burst the box and its contents were scat- tered over the platform. The porter shook his head. “Na,” he said. “I think it winna get past Dundee. If it goin’ further it’s no strong enough. Boston Transcript. Not Overflowing—Brudder Johnsing How’s collections at your church, Brud- der? Brudder Skinn—Well, we ain't neb- ber had to stop in de middle of a collection to go an’ empty de box.—Club Fello Brave Dame—She is the best women, and for four years she | worked untiringly. But the other day, at the N—— sous N—— hospital she was not exactly tactful. Seeing a new- comer in the ward she was in the habit of visiting, she sai “So you have lost a leg?” “Yes.” “Ah, poor fellow! Have a chocolate!” —La Baionnette (Paris). Willing to Blow Her Young Hodge (to the Hon. Millicent De ¢ Marchmont Crespigny has become merette)—I be goin’ to the movies Sat- ternoon; I'll take thee if thou'd loike — London Opinion. An Englishman's Idea of a Yankee —A lean American was monopolizing the conversation at the club. “Yass,” he drawled. “I've been about some. I've lumbered on the Mis- sissippi, met bears in the Rockie cattle-ranchin’ out Texas way, gl round Australia, seen some bush life an’ gold-minin’. “Hob-nobbed with Indian rajahs, watched a bull-scrimmage in Spain. China? Reckon I jest have. Bin any- where else? I should smile. There's Japan, the Alps, Switzerland, and that jest about finishes the caboodle.” “What is his profession?” asked some- one, when the American had departed. “His profession?” said a little man who had hitherto not spoken. “Why, he’s manager of a cinematograph show in the West-end.”"—London Tit-Bits. | THE SEX Suspended Regulations—“ Corporal Daisy Carruthers, why did you not in- form Private Hilda Clarkson that I wanted her?” “Oh—we're not on speaking terms just now!"—London Passing Show. With a rful—Jack—You can't judge a man by the way he dresses. Ed: Oh, I don’t know. I can tell a gentleman by his get-up—in the crowded street car.—Boston Transcript. Can Give Him Points—‘“I hear Madge is engaged toa man w ho manufac- tures artificial optic “Is that so? Well, I reckon she can w points when it comes to -Philadel- give him a f making those goo-goo eyes.” phia Bulletin Artistic Temperament—Her hus- band—Seats in the Stock Exchange cost thousands of dollars. Prima donna—My! but I'd like to sing in that house.—Boston Transcript. Useful—A woman lost her little curly poodle, and called on the police to find it. The next day one of the force came with the dog very wet and dirty. The lady was overjoyed, and asked a number of foolish questions, among other “Where did you find my dear dar- ling?” “Why, ma'am,” said the officer, “a fellow had him on a pole, and was hing windows with him.”—London Tit-Bits. “ Comforting “Ne vous bowseulez pas. . . coyons! un autre train.” . dla méme heure!” goodness! Don't get so excited! If iss this train, there’s another just as row, at the very same time.”— Lilitus tration (Paris), comicbooks.com