Judge — August 10, 1918 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BUSINESS Poetic Advertising—An advertising man who has returned recently from the Orient says the Japanese merchants and manufacturers who have occasion to make use of printer's ink are not disposed to limit themselves to dull, prosaic state- ments concerning the excellence of their wares. Among the entertaining bits that the traveler noticed in his study of Jap- anese advertising are these “Goods despatched expeditiously s cannon-ball.”” “Parcels done up with such loving wife bestows upon her husband.” ne print of our books is clear as crystal; the matter charming as a singing girl.” Customers are treated as politely as by rival steamship companies. “Our silks and satins are as smooth as a lady’s cheeks and colored like the rain- bow It ought to be possible to get advertise- ments read in Japan without scattering them around next to “pure reading mat- ter.”—Dayton News. That's Not Business: Stunning stenographer you have.’ “Yrs, but I'll have to get rid of her.” y? Affecting your heart?” “No, indeed. But when she trips into the office an hour late, she seems to think a smile squares everything.” —Birming- ham Age-Herald. The Dissatisfied One—“ Better con- sider my course in efficiency training. I can show you how to earn more money than you are gettin, “TI do that now.”—Louisville Courier- Journal. Mary Murillo Says—It’s a little risky for a stenographer to go around harping on improvements for the office. They might take her up on it and get another stenographer. Don't think every good-looking man in the office cherishes a secret passion for you, and don’t think you are falling in love every time your heart flutters. You may be bilious. Many a misguided office girl has wasted time and face paint on an unsympathetic employer. Nine times out of ten, when a man hires a stenographer, he wants a stenog- rapher for stenographic purposes. He picks his peaches in another orchard. No office girl can chase the bright lights all night, come to work next Thoughtfulness *gastao’ las dice pesetas que mi mujer tenia escondidas debajo de un puckero.” “ ZPor que?” “Porque como cl gobierno anda akora bus- cando la rigueza veulta, a podian dar un dis gusto ala po “I'm certainly glad I ‘took over' those ten pesetas of my wife's that I found hid in a vase on the mantel.” “Why Because the Government has just decided »commandecr all secret hoards, and the poor girl would feel terribly cut up.”"—Blanco 9 Negro (Madrid). Outside the Limit! Il be one of the y tax. The Host—I suppose ciga things to come under the lux Candid Guest worry, old cha The Passing Sho no need to brand!— (London). morning with a heada spring the sick grandmother gag, and get away with it indefinit The boss n have a head- ache himself.—Ginger. Just the Man—“I'm thinking of go- ing into the poultry bus’ “Then I’m the very man you want to meet. I can supply your needs. I’m thinking of going out of the poultry business.’"—Farm and Home. CSS. Too Much Advertising—‘“I sce that old Monroe has failed in business. How did it happen?’ “Oh, too much advertising, I guess.” “But Monroe never advertised.” “No, but his competitors did.”"— York Evening Post. | ECCENTRICITY | Scr Teacher Wanted—The Cuthbert school is so far without a teacher. This week the following ad was handed into the Record for publication: “Cuthbert wants a first-class teacher. Salary proportionate to the work. Would take man or lady. If a man he must not smoke cigarettes, nor trade knives, nor swap horses for pastime. He may search for minerals or oil, but not gas—we have that. Ifa lady she must not wear glas: and must have good teeth. She is not to flirt with the boys. She can try her hand on some elderly widowers.”’—Colorado (Texas) Record. cS A Suggestion—“I want to make a gift to Miss Passay,” said Singley; “I wonder what sort of animal she'd prefer for a pe “A man,” promptly suggested Miss Knox.—Pearson’s. Easily—“ Pragmatic pantheism” is the name of the new religion being adopted by some of the Eastern people. We know nothing about it but at first thought it strikes us we could casi- ly sleep through the sermons.—Buffalo News. The Punster at Work—“Our men fought like tigers,” says a Rome journal. But more like Ita-lions. “We shall soon have to register for ” prophesies a Willesden When, in case of omission, will be called upon to “atchoodicate.”” A wonderful sofa is the chief humorist in the new Criterion play. It’s a sofarce. —London Opinion. comicbooks.com