Judge — August 10, 1918 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DARKIES | The Uncle Eben, “dat some young chaps is broke is dat they keeps tryin’ to pick race horses instid 0” pickin’ strawberries or cotton, or whutever’s in season.” —Wash- Reason—“De reason,” said ington Star There He Was—A Troy licutenant who was stationed recently at Camp Devens relates an experience that oc- curred when a party of negro draftes from the South arrived at camp. They were lined up, and as each man’s name was called he stepped forward. When the roll was completed, one negro re- mained standing back of the line, to the surprise of the officers. “What are you doing there?” said one officer. The con- fused negro looked sheepish, but said nothing. ‘What is your name?” The negro gave his name, which could not be found on the roll. “How did you get here?” “All Ah knows, boss, is dat Ah was standin’ on de platform at Jacksonville, Florida, and someone said, ‘All you niggers get aboard’; so Ah got aboard and here Ah am.” The negro had not been drafted, but certainly showed will- ingness to obey orders.—Troy Times. YOUNG THINGS Botanical—Botanist—This, Miss Lit- tle, is the tobacco plant. . Miss Litth—How interesting! And when does it begin to bear cigarettes?— Pearson's. Very Likely—A Socialist was talking at the Colony Club about girls’ schools. “Ultrafashionable girls’ schools I don’t like,” she said. “They educate a girl in everything but an education “Two housemaids were talking once about their mistress’s daughter, who had just returned from one of these ultrafashionable schools. “What's the new course Miss Marie istaking?’” the first maid asked. ““T think,’ said the second maid think the name of it is cosmetics.’ Washington Star. Punishment—£dith—I'll and let you marry the wretch. Marie—Why do you do that? Edith—He proposed to both of us and I want to see him punished.—Boston Transcript. back out The Fateful Hour “Ja hisén, ja! Ja sén ales portes!” 1 les portes de Paris 0 a les portes de la mort Pro-German Spaniard—Ha! the gates! Doubtful Ditto—At the gates of Paris?—or of Hades?—Esquella (Barcelona). They are at Fishing—Ie—Miss Wiles dropped me aline yesterday. She—Lookout! That girl is trying to hook you—Boston Transcript. Worried—Sister Susie—Oh, dear, I’ve run all out of grey. I wonder if the soldier would mind if I finished the sock in lavender.—Yonkers Statesman. A Tactician.—Stella to know how to handle men Bella—Hubh! 1 know how to do that myself. —New York Sun An officer has Some Knock -Was that your brother I saw you with yesterday? Beulah—Yes; don’t you think we look alike? Belle—Not a_ particle. pretty good-looking, isn’t he Statesman. ] MUSIC A Warning—"Stand up! The orches- tra is playing ‘The Star-Spangled Ban- “T can’t, I have a sore foot.” “Better stand up. A fellow offered that excuse the other day and it wasn’t long before he had a sore head.”—Bir- mingham Age-Herald. National Anthems—Teacher in French school—Marie, what is the na- l tional anthem of La Patrie? | Little Marie—“La Marscillaise.” | Teacher—Good! Now, the national air j of England? ; Little Marie—“God Save the King.” j i Teacher—Very good, mon enfant! Now the national air of the United States? Little Marie—Certainement! It’s “Hail, Hail, the Gang’s All Here.”"—Stars and Stripes. i Sammy's Brace Yankee—Say, boys, I bro Skeptical Tomm ce—Betcher life, Passing Show (London), ht ina couple of Huns last night ont -Yer quite certain there was two of ‘em? a eli bo’. I heard one of ’em say, “Move up a bit, Fritzy, I'm slipping ne end of my bayonet. comicbooks.com