Judge — August 3, 1918 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Often Embarrassing—" These short skirts are rather bewildering.” “Yes, it isn’t safe any more to offer to take what you think isa little girl on your lap.”"—Kansas City Journal. Getting the Cue—The actor—My is acting captain now. he barmaid (bored) —Well, I hope he makes a better job of it than his father made of Hamlet.—London Opinion son CULLUD UNS | Keeping it Going—A Richmond darky called upon an old friend, who received him in a rocking chair. The visitor at once observed not only that his host did not rise, but that he con- tinued to rock himself to and fro in a most curious way, similar to that of a person suffering from a colic. “Yo' ain’t sick, is yo’, Harrison?” asked the caller anxiously. “No, I ain't sick, Mose,” said Harrison. A moment's silence during which the caller gazed wide-eyed at the rocking figure. “Den,” continued Mose, “why in goodness does yo’ rock yo'se'f dat way all de time?” Harrison paused not in his oscillations, as he explained: “ Yo’ know dat good- fur-notkin, Bill Blott? Well, he done sold me a silver watch fo’ five dollahs, an’ ef I stops movin’ like dis, dat watch don’t go!” —Buffalo Commercial. Hail to The King—Camp Pike is not used to much gold braid on the uniforms of its officers and so the dress uniforms of Muffle Oars! British tar (to —The Passing S s pal) ((London). the members of the state staff of Gov- enor Bilbo, of Mississippi, created an impression upon the colored soldiers, who rank an officer by the amount of fine feathers on display. As the car with the staff passed up South Avenue one negro poked his head out of the barrack window and then hurriedly called to his companions: “Niggers! niggers! Come heah a runnin’—De King of Arkansas done cum to town!”—Camp Pike Trench and Camp. Discovered in the Year 2000 “A skeleton without a backbone! neutral state in the war of 1914-1918.” Ah, that must have been one of the nigh officials of a '—Nebelspalter (Zurich, Switzerland). Go easy with that soup, Bill don’t forget we're the “Silent Navy!” | SERVANTS | One at a Time—‘Heliogabalus is known to fame as the man who has a thousand cooks.” “Fame on slight grounds, never kept tabs myself. Courier-Journal. say. “I "Louisville Forewarned—IWVife—Well, dear, I shall have to do the cooking now. Cook left without warning this afternoon. Husband—Not exactly without warn- ing. She told me this morning I had bet- ter bring home some dyspepsia tablets to-night, but I didn’t understand what she meant.—London Tit-Bits. No Settled Residence—“ Where are you going to lecture to-night, my de: inquired Mr. Wise of his wife, a prom nent equal-suffrage lecturer. “I am to address the Cooks’ Housemaids’ Union,” she responded. Her husband fell back in his chair and laughed. “T see nothing to laugh about. Surely they have as much right to vote as any other woman,” his wife began, indig- nantly. “Tam not denying that, my dear,” mildly explained Mr. Wise; “but it is a waste of time. Don’t you realli. a cook or housemaid never remains long enough in one position to be entitled toa vote?” —St. Louis Globe-Democrat. and comicbooks.com