Judge — August 3, 1918 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

f | DAWGS ry Knew What He Was Doing—* Was that a dog you just ran over, Jenkins?” asked the lady in the back seat of the car. , madam,” replied the chauffeur. “Oh, Jenkins! How can you be so careless. “LT wasn't careless, madam. I hit him i It was a dachshund, madam.”— Yonkers Statesn You've Said It—The old lady was r visitor with numerous ance- dotes about her dog. “And do you know,” she concluded marvelous how intelligent he knows everything I st like mine,” said the friend; “my nd and I were forced to learn French so that we could speak without the understanding us.”"—London Tit “Et ce grand diner, ¢@ avance?” The Thoughtful Hostess Cause for Anger—‘lI'll learn ye tae tie the kettle tae the dog’s tail!” Tom- my’s mother yelled in her wrath “Tt wasna’ oor dog!” cried frightened Thomas. “Naw, it wisna’ oor dug,” shricked the enraged mother, “but it wis oor kettle!” Suicide—* What became of that grey hound you had?” “Killed himself! “Really?” “Yes, tried to catch a fly on the small of his back and miscalculated. Bit him self in two."’—London Tit-Bits. A Natural Economist—The school- master was giving the boys a lecture on thrift, and pointed out that even animals exercised that quality, instancing how squirrels always stored up nuts for the winter. Then he asked for another illustration t in animals, and one small boy in the back row cried out: “A dog.” “La récolte se prépare bien, je crois que dans trois mois nous pourrons lancer nos invitation “How is the big dinner coming on “The crop looks very promising, and I hope that in three months we'll be able to send out the invitations.”"—Le Péle-Méle (Paris). Still a Chance Para firmar la (Suprimido por la necessary.—Iberia (Ba originally su practise “Please, sir, when he runs after his tail he makes both ends meet.”—London Exveryweek. | | WHEEZES | L Appropriate | March — Patience Some wedding, was it? Patrice—It certainly was. You see Peggy had six men for ushers and she had been engaged to every one of them at some time or another. Patience—Odd, n't it? Patrice—Yes, and she wouldn't let the organist. play Mendelssohn’s Wedding arch. PC Patrice She had him play “Hail, Hail, the Gang’s All Here!"— Yonkers Statesman. No Protest—‘This man,” said the keeper softly, “imagines he has millions.” “Isn't that nice?” answered the vis- itor. “Whenever he needs money all he has to do is to draw on his imagination.” -Boston Transcript. Joyous Paradox—“You are going to take the advice of the Department of Agriculture and keep bees? “Yes. Abechive great investment. It proves profitable even if you get stung.” —IWashington Star. comicbooks.com