Judge — July 27, 1918 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Veteran “Vraiment, tu n'as pas peur?” oi prruis de Reims.” re not scared? Rheims!"—La Baion- SEX THE Everywoman — Composer Baroni, gallant cuss, says: “Every woman is a song,” which we move to amend to read: ‘Every woman is a popular ‘song Buffalo News. A Fig for Brains—“I thought I was paying her a compliment,” said the callow youth, “but she didn’t seem to take it that way.” “My boy,” said the old stager, “I overheard what you said. You merely praised her intellect. A compliment like that is equivalent to saying a woman couldn't travel around the block on her looks.” —Birmingham A ge-Herald. Ideals—“ My ideal of a wife is one who can make good bread. of a husband is one who dough in the hour of knead.’ American. In the Toils—He (watching another couple)—I suppose he feels that he could not live without her. She—Yes, and I don’t think he'll have a chance to find out that he could. — Boston Transcript. On the Links—“Edith positively talks with her eyes.” “And I suppose when she feels like swearing she just gives a cursory glance.” —Boston Transcript. The Tripping Tongue—A lady had been looking for a friend for a long time without success. Finally she came upon her in an unexpected place. “Well,” she exclaimed, “I’ve been on a perfect wild goose chase all day long, but thank goodness I've found you at last.” —Boston Transcript. Hence Her Attitude—‘“Flubdub's wife doesn’t show him much considera- tion. “Probably she doesn’t feel that she owes him any. “Seems her mother picked out her husband for her.""—Kansas City Journal. Knitting Reserves—" What are you knitting there?” ““A sock. We women can help win the war by knitting.” That's right. Sock it to nsas City Journal, German Delicacy “Das ist gut! Il est gent, cotre chien!” Vous trouce:? Eh bi ger avec nous demain 40 “Dasist gut! What a wonderfully fine dog ez done le man- Then come take dinner with we're having him then."—Le éle (Paris) A Contradiction— health” is a contradiction in terms, admonishes a language purist. Which shows how little he knows some women.— Akron Times. [| xeL UBS Consistent—“ How did you happen to drop out of the ‘Don’t Worry Club?’” “TI was too good a member. I refused to worry even about any dues.” —Wash- ington Star. njoying poor Not Anchored—‘I sce Newpop at the club quite often since his baby came. I thought he was anchored to a home life.” “He was, but at the first squall he began to drag his anchor."—Boston Transcript Stands Well—“Is Doppel a member of the Periwinkle club?” “Yes.” “Tn good standing?” “T presume so. All the servants there lie cheerfully for him over the telephor when Mrs. Doppel calls.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. MUSIC Cacophony—" Your daughter has a beautiful voice.” “* That ain’t my daughter singing now. That's the windmill outside squeaking. I told Pa to gre: ago.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. The Song Bird—‘‘I understand that $20,000 was spent on Miss Yowler’s musical education.” I presume the money was “Well, not exactly. It kept her in Europe several years and the neighbors got somer 1m Age-Herald. Inspiring High Notes—Bili—I'm making money selling mice. Jill—Whom do you sell them to? Bill—The professor of music in the next street. JillWhat on mice for? Bill—Why, he uses them for trying the voices of young ladies.—Farm and Home. earth does he want When the Russian Bear Dances Again Qui tho havia de dir, ch, que s'invertirien els appers! Won't he be surprised, come'day, when the roles are reversed!—Fsquella (Barcelona). (This cartoon made that pro-German Spanish censor cross.) comicbooks.com