Judge — July 20, 1918 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Those Camp Performances aun pees a The Producer—Now, this is the turnin’ point of the scene. ‘ou throw yer arms ‘round ‘im, and in a voice with a sob in it yer say, “Mabel, me dar- Of course “e'll ave girl’s clothes on, so it won't be itch, in’ 80 bad | WIVES Extraordinary—* Smith extraor dinarily attentive to the lady he took in to dinner.” “That was his wife.” I still maintain his attention was ex- traordinary.”"—Baltimore American. And then yer kiss ‘im three times if yer shut yer eyes.—Punch (London) How She Got It—"Hello, Tims!” said Jones. “I> saw your wife this morning. By Jove! that new coat of hers must have cost a pot of money. You're doing specially well at present?” “No, not exactly plied Tims, mood- ily. “Fact is, she got it by accident.” “By accident! exclaimed Jones. “ How was that? “Well, it was this way. I got home rather late the other night. The hail was very dark, but I could just distinguish a figure standing by the chair. I slipped up to her, put my arm around her and whispered, ‘Mary, give me ,’ stammered Jones, “I thought your wife’s name was Kate?” “Tt is,” murmured Tims; “that's how she got the coat.”—London Tit-Bits. Deep Thought—IVife (at the play)— Is it possible, John Henry, that such amateurish acting has moved you to tears? Husband—You wrong me, woman! I was thinking of the four dollars the seats cost me.—Buffalo Express. *Avin’ worked yerself up to a A Sure Cure—Sufferer—I have a ter- rible toothache, and want something to cure it Friend—Now, you don't any medicine. I had toothache yesterda and I went home, and my loving wife kissed me and so consoled me that the pain soon passed away. Why don’t you try the same? Sufferer—I think I will. Is your wife at home now?—Le Rire, (Paris). need Her Worth—‘‘And so you are the noble fellow who rescued my wife at the risk of your life?” said Mr. Tightfist. ‘ake this quarter, my brave fellow, as an expression of my thankfulness.”” The Hero—* All right, guv’nor, thank The Real Fight qui mo hi ha més ‘Bonnet Rouge’ que aquest, senyor Case!” “This, Mr. Pickelhaube (German helmet) is the only (Liberty) cap to your climax that you have to deal with!”—Campana de Gracia (Barcelona). ye,” and then he added, softly: “You know better'n I do what your old girl’s worth.” —Detroit Free Press. Her Purpose—"Can't you and your husband dwell together in unity?” in- quired the police judge. “Listen, judge! exclaimed Aunt Hanner; “I brung dis no-’count man befo’ you to talk business, not religion.” —Dallas Ne HISTORY As of Yore—*The cavalicrs used to drink a toast to some court beauty and then smash the glass so that it could never be used again.” “We get the same results with the sanitary paper cup."—Louisville Courier- Journal, Los Angeles’ Latest Role—Latest news in the moving-picture world is to the effect that camera squadrons are busy taking war-pictures on the Flanders and Picardy fronts in the outskirts of Los Angeles.—Rochester Post-Express. HEALTH Husky Enough—Inan Arkansas River town built largely on reclaimed land most of the houses had to be built on pillars four or five feet above ground. One resident, with a longer head than his neighbor inclosed the space under his house with pickets and in the pen thus made kept his drove of scrawny hogs. “Do you think it is sanitary—health- ful—to keep your hogs under the house like that?” he was asked. “Aw, I don’t know, stranger. I reckon so,” replied the native and hitched up his overalls. “* Never notice any bad effects from , no,” he drawled. “I been a- keepin’ my hawgs there for 14 years, an’ never lost a hawg.”"—Harper’s Mag- azine, Missed Something—“ After waiting two hours to see the doctor, he devoted only five minutes to me.” “Well, did you expect him to hand you a cigar and tell you several funny stories? He's a busy man.” “No, but I think he might have let me have the satisfaction of telling him all my symptoms, instead of diagnosing my trouble at a glance.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. comicbooks.com