Judge — July 13, 1918 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Eternal Question By Devere Aten HAT silly thing am I doing to-day that I shall laugh at to-morrow? When I was five years old, I was mortal- ly afraid of policemen; when I was ten I stuck out my tongue at all of them. When I was ten, I hated to wash m when I was fifteen I spent an hour a day parting my hair. When I was fifteen, | wanted to become a rail- oad president; when | was twenty, I was glad to iake twenty-five a week in my newspaper job. 7 When I was twenty, I was proud because I th had soma irls; now I am twenty-five I go around who bragging because it takes all my time to keep just ¢ happy. What silly thing am I doing to-day that I hall laugh at to-morrow? The Radical By Morne Ryskixo H" believes in the Feminist Movement. And Free Love. And Verse Like Th Draven by Hasurtos Winttass And he used to read The Masses. Tue Hicuer Gurr 7 F , thor—Han ur perpetual boasting makes me sic Jhy man, He goes to dinner with a girl, Dutch treat, i'm twice as ahabby as you your perk aa But he makes her give him her share in advance, So the waiter won’t sneer at him. Absolutely Unavoidable By Kexxetu L. Rowerts Yu must not blame us for what happened. W are averse to public displays of affection; but this was unavoidable. She was a college girl. Her enthusiasms were fine and fresh. She was Youth incarnate. We were greatly intrigued, and gave her our undivided attention. if “Won't you lunch with us?” we asked her. I should adore it?” she exclaimed. we had lunch togethe “This is a meatless day potatoes...” “I love potatoes!” “How about the theater?” we inquired after lunch. “Tam mad about it!” she declared. ‘ “Is there anything you would particularly care to see?”’ we asked Ss we remarked, ‘and Mr. Hoover has spoken of she cried “Oh, no!” she s “T would simply dote on anything! “Perhaps we might take a spin through the park on our way to the é theater,”’ we suggested { “It would be simply ravishing!” she said. “I would love it to deat So we drove in the park. “Isn't the sky beautiful tenderly blue!” She looked up at the sky. Her It was quite remarkable. Sits "she agreed. “Isn't it perfectly adorable!” Possibly her evident infatuation with everything had influenced us: she was a propagandist for love; and love can be created by clever propaganda Or maybe it was the bit of heaven in her eyes. Orit might have been her lips we remarked. “It’s so wonderfully soft, so matched it perfectly ‘ i j { They were like rose-petals. At any rate, she was looking up. And she had ii practically admitted loving all things. Inaction would have been inexcusabl. \f ‘ ve kissed her. ia ung ! she cried. “TI hate you!” } urful “B-but .. . ”’ we protested. “T despise you!” she said. i : We were desolated. “B-but,” we stammered, “you said that you loved tell potatoes and the theater and driving and the sky and everything; and we } thought...” | “T loathe them!” she stormed passionately } } “B-but you said * we repeated. 4 “T don’t care what I said!” she interrupted. “I hate you!” sf Of course, we understand perfectly that it was in wretched taste for us i vece to drive through the park at two o’clock in the afternoon with our arms Lers) around a lady. It might not have been so bad if we hadn’t kissed her so dog, Drax H. C. Greexine < frequently. We admit all these things. But she was Youth incarnate; and dog Too Fu she loathed what she loved; and she loved what she despised, and . . ps is awful smelly when you have to duck!” well, anybody who isn’t a perfect clam can readily understand that the whole affair was absolutely unavoidable. u'll be wantin’ rose water next. What-a-ya think this is, a finger bow!?” comicbooks.com