Judge — July 13, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Junce ent aid De eezes Military and Naval pays $1 each for original jokes sent by soldiers and sailors and accepted for publication, and each week $5 is awarded for the best original joke received Hints to Recruits By Per. JB. Haves, Sith B.A. Brig, Ho A [\ grooming your horse, always begin on the nearest side. Before retiring at night see that the lock on your tent is securely fastened. When the Major-General stops his car and demands an explanation for not saluting his standard, tell him you thought it was a service flag, indicating that he had two sons in the war. When sent by your Corporal for fifty yards of skirmish line, your company commander can direct you where to procure it In firing the gib guns, be sure to have your cars well stuffed with gun cotton. Well Trained 3. Dow, U. 8. N. How is it that you became adept at sig- > quickly? ! Twas a brakeman before I enlisted in Solicitude By Carey Yoouas A.J. MacLeas, 0. 8. N, At chow, three hours after being jabbed for typhoid, Mickey turned pale; Slats, at the end of the table watching him closely, sang out: “Say Mickey, if you faint, kin I have your pie?” Some Experience By Per. Joseru M. Hinack, Co. C, 0th Inft. The Captain was looking for men of sporting abilities to attend school for bayonet instruction. When the company was assembled he asked: “Has anyone had experience in fenc- ing?” A rural rookie replied: “Some with barbed-wire, sir.” © Drown by Pave J. Haxsos, 1st Soldiep—Remember when we went to school how sma'l the ocean looked on the map? 2nd Ditto—Gosh! How it has grown since then: On the Rifle Range By Pvt. Vewse Wien as, Co. D, ith Engineer Rook, didn’t I tell you to take a fine sight?” growled the Corporal. “Don’t you know what a fine sight is?” “Sure [ know what a fine sight is,” yelled back the rook, “a transport full of Corporals— submarined!” This Week's $5 Prize Winner Sure Thing actA, Sth Co., Portland, Fort Leeett, Me Why did you let that man By Booues 3. PL Ps SERGEANT (to sentry) pass your post? Sentry—Because he is a friend. Serceant—Horw do you k Senxtay—Ie gave me some The Wise One By Lueor. Wa. H. Hottes A Marine Corps painter was being examined for promotion to a technical rank of Corporal, and a question like this was asked him by the board: “How would you get paint to stick ona rainy day?” “T wouldn't paint that day He passed. worn, U.S. Marine * was the quick reply Artless Art Za n by W.L Pern, U.S. 8. Merey The girl that Jack brought home His Only Code By Per. Hauny Wroore, Division Headquarters, Camp Da, Nod. Signal Drill Instructor—If 1 push this Morse-code buzzer once, I get a dot. Now who can tell me what I get if I push it twice? Bell-hop Recruit—Ice water. His Nearest Foe Caswal Compang Sentry—Halt! Challenged Party—Your Sergeant. Sentry—Advance, enemy. His Dark Moment You SALUTE. OFFICERS? Drawn by Prt. Jack Keaty, Personnel Offer, Camp Upton, N.Y. “Out of the night that shelters me.” A Marine View By Prt. 3.8. Levine, € Even some of the sailors in the U. S. Navy admit that Marines are better men. Milse, the first-class cook, happened to need some extra help, so he told his assistant: “Go and find a Marine and if you can’t get a Marine, get six ‘gobs.’ ” 8. Marine Corps C. O. D. or Something 1. Kest Warsow, Battery D, 138d Po A the young have been a fearful hy x “Oooo lady, “there accident “Why?” queried the soldier escort. “Well, I just heard a graff voice tell somebody to ‘order arms’.”” cried, sweet must Drawing the Line By Semoeast M. MacKexwos, (100 1 FA Private (who has just found a piece of wood in one of his frankfurters) —Say, I don’t mind cating the dog, but I'll be darned if I cat the dog house. comicbooks.com