Judge — July 13, 1918 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

He Wasn't Bad—Mother—I don’t like the looks of that little boy you were playing with on the street today. You mustn't play with bad little boys, you know Son—Oh, but he isn’t a bad little boy, mama. He's a good little boy. He's been to the reformatory school twice and they've let him out cach time on account of good behavior.—’ York Globe. A Rational Conclusion—* The Binkses must buy everything on the installment plan.” “What makes you think so?” “T heard Jimmy Binks ask his father whether the new baby would be taken away if they couldn't keep up the ments.” —Boston Transcript. FOOD Burglar Observes 50-50 Ruling—A Council Bluffs grocery store was robbed of five sacks of wheat flour one Sunday night. The next night it was robbed of five sacks of corn meal. The grocer’s explanation is that the burglar upon finding that he had disregarded the 50-50 rule was so conscience stricken that he could not rest until he had conformed to the Food Administ ration’s ruling that one pound of other cereals must be obtained with every pound of wheat flour.—Food Conservation Not Worth It—He—Yes, you know it’s costing me $500 a year just to live, because of the war prices. She—I shouldn't pay it; it isn’t worth it.—Cassell’s Saturday Journal. There are Others—* You don’t ap- pear to object to these food restrictions.” “1 don't see any restrictions worth mentioning,” replied Mr. Cumrox. “Ihave been for years wishing I could sit down in the best restaurant and order corn bread and cabbage and potatoes right out loud.” —Washington Star. The Hoover of His Day—Sunday School Teacher—And what reward was Joseph given for saving the yptians from starvation? Smart Boy—Please, Miss, he was made food controller. Waiting—“Have you tried the sub- stitute for meat?” “Yes. I’m waiting for prices to keep working up till I can eat meat again as a substitute for the substitutes.” —Buffalo Commercial, That Left-Hand Drive pected Too Much—*Look here, waiter!” said Mr. Joyce, scowling deeply over his plate. “I ordered turtle soup. There is not even a morsel of turtle flavor in this.” “Of course not,” said the waiter. “What do you expect? If you ordered cottage pudding, would you expect a cottage in it?” —Farm and Home. War Pie—We don’t know what the official prescription is for war bread, but up at our house a nice piece of cherry with a seed in it is recognized as war pie. Akron Times. -*Look, here said the there’s a fly in the’ butter.” isn’t a fly,” commented the waiter: “it is a moth. And that isn’t butter; it’s oleomargarine. Otherwise your assertion is correct.”’—Washington Star Precision irate diner That G ving Him Percy your girls! Another Umson leaned back in his c| dinner-table, held a coo! thumb and first finger of and eyed it Mrs. Uni Pinching the cake and mov and down weight, U: tion. War-time Substitute— air at the between the his right hand, closely. f nson looked, but did not smile. ‘} ng it up {j ertain its ? his inspec- as if to carefully mson_ continued By this time Mrs. Umson was glower ing “Well going to po fro: Then “It’s wh what she said. “I suppose you are ake fun at my cooking again.” m it,” her husband answered in the world are you at ?) “And also taking note of its compact- ness and st “Isn't th “My dea made a grea rengt he at making fun of it?” ar, you may have unwittingly at discovery.” How's that?” success as wonderful s his thing may not be much of a a cake, but it might make a ubstitute fora rubber hee! Youngstown Telegram. The B we'll ra I rally attle Cry of Feed ‘Em lly ‘round the farm, boys, Shouting the battle cry of feed ’em. We've got the ships and money And the best of fighting men, Shouting the The onion fo Down with t c battle cry of feed em. orever, the beans and the corn, he tater—it’s up the next morn— While we rally ‘round the plow, boys, And take the hoe again, Shouting the His Choice ay, Major, old man, I want to come round and sce you about marrying one of Major—Which one do you want—cook or parlor maid?—London Opinion. battle ery of feed ‘em. —New York Sun. | N\A comicbooks.com