Judge — July 6, 1918 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“TABS” RECISTERED Send a Box to your Soldier Boy Lemon Tabs Clove Tabs Anise Tabs Orange Tabs Butter Tabs Tablets Packed Right Assorted Tabs Eighteen 5c packages At your druggist for 90c, or send us $1.00 and we will send it prepaid. The soldier cannot drink water. It disagrees with him. The English have found sour hard candy a “Godsend.” 520 West 36th Street, New York City Fer twenty years “*King of Caramel Makers" The Tables of the Law By MeLaxpavrcu Witsen Some Boy SHE looked down at the sleeping babe “Ah, me,” she sighed, “ How sweet! “It has its mother’s nose and eyes o put the Hun (o rout “A le. hustle out, Charlie We've got 5 about Chaplin's The timetable Feet!” We've got to save on what we eat, Statistics Old Uncle Eben Jones of Nashville went into a New York life insurance office and requested a policy. “Why, uncle,” said the president, “you are too old for us to take the risk. How old are you?” “Ninety-seven come next August,” said the old man, and added testily, “If you folks will take the trouble to look up your statistics you'll find that mighty few men die after they're ninety-seven.” Mt to save the juicy meat And spread with substitutes for wheat The dinner table We've got to increase more and more Our men and guns and ships and store And use by sky and sea and shore The multiplication table. When this is done it will be found With victory we shall be crowned And help to dictate peace around The council table 225 Fifth Avenue = JUDGE I'd Like to See a Moving Picture By Oakrey Conway ! no woman wore jet—from ear to gown Where there were no portraits in silver frames, kissed. fled, gazed at, or, for that matter, anywhere in sight Where tiger h rugs were kept out of Harlem flats. Where cither of the leads could go through « train wreck and retain a perfect memory Where the leading dady stayed off a day-bed for one entire reel Where the insert didn’t tiy to tell the story of the whole darned scene by a mote or less clever suggestive drawing. (High priced and “better pictures” please copy.) Where Mary Pickford was well dressed Where a boudoir was without any fresh artiti cial flowers. Where heroes contine| themselves to one finger ting and to some other than the little finger. Where one corner in any room would be bless edly vacant Where the heroine slept in an honest to good ness bed which did not resemble a reclining silk counter draped with an expensive awning Where Pauline Frederick did not bite her lip. Where the beautiful blonde was not always pursued by too accommodating rays of sun and moonshine. Where I can forget it was taken in California Where not all the adventuresses were Russian Where strangling be confined to vendettas. feuds, perverts, and other vicious institu tions. Where there is not a single sneek out, commonly called “fade outs.” Where Mme. Petrova would have secured an up to date figure. Where family scenes would not be indulged in over the dead or nearly dead body of an im portant character in the story ere no one used the telephone. ere the hotel desk concealed more artfully its ier maché characteristics and the clerk @ ‘acter whom I felt was not a street car conductor or an insane hospital attendart Heard in the Reichstag The minority leader—The Government's ex planation of our persistent failure is patently untruc and does not satisfy the people The ch Hor—Ah, but that was last week's explanation. The Bureau of Explanations has prepared another that they will like much better Another JUDGE Hit Scored with the Brush | ie | THIS clever picture, which | appeared on a recent | cover of JUDGE, has been = ro reproduced in full colors and mounted on a heavy mat, . | Il x 14, ready for the frame. | | It will be sent postpaid for twenty-five cents cash or stamps. VATTICOATS ond PARTS. JUDGE ART PRINT DEPARTMENT New York City (F Srerzznrvroranyver eave comicbooks.com